Ahhh....Now I Get It!

You remember a few weeks ago I left the Desert Song video for you guys. Apparently, it was for me as well. Opps! Such as life is, as soon as I became licensed at the end of October, my somewhat quiet and predictable days came to a halt. There seems to be drama all over now, especially work related, which is starting to affect me in my personal life. Of course, I’m at the point of wondering if this is the best time to start a private practice and right now in complete exhaustion I do not think it is. It is never a good thing to do anything when exhausted, because it isn’t done right and because you can’t think with clarity and proper reason at times of tiredness. I honestly wish I could take a sabbatical for a few weeks (already counting down the days until Christmas break) and catch my breathe and rejuvenate, but I can’t so gotta keep rolling with the punches for now.

“The steps of the good man are ordered by the Lord. And He delights in his way”- Psalm 37:23

Until next time…

FINALLY!

Okey dokey….last month I told you all that I would have more to mention very soon. Well, here it is. I am now able to sign my work documents with my name and the letters of, MSW, ACSW, LCSW! After four years in the making that whole licensure process is over with. It is my hope and dream to be able to open up a private practice in the upcoming months and work with hearing, Deaf, hard of hearing, Christians, non-Christians, and older and younger adults. This has been a dream of mine since 2000 when I decided to become a social worker in the first place. I have been trying to get preliminary stuff completed first (there are a lot of details involved in trying to begin a business) as well as juggle my already busy schedule. So I’ll definitely try to keep everyone posted on how that project is coming along. :)

Until next time...

That's My King!

Hi Everyone!

Can't believe we are upon the last day of October. I plan to post more very soon. But thought with this entry I should post a YouTube reminder of who the God I worship is. I think just like anything other relationship, we get to the point of forgetting or taking for granted someone's attributes and until we are reminded somehow, don't really consider it. So enjoy!:)

RESULTS FROM THE CATARACT SURGERY

Hope everyone has been doing well and staying focused. I know it’s been a few weeks since I last posted on there. It truly never ceases to amaze me how quickly the days, weeks, months, and years pass. It was my intention to post before now, but I was busy dealing with having a cataract surgery along with other stuff, that I promise to share in an upcoming post. I guess I should clarify. My physical eyes have perfect vision, but my spiritual eyes are the ones that went through the ordeal. If you remember from my Can You See entry, I talked about allowing the Holy Spirit to show you things that that you were blinded to or couldn’t see. Well, I asked the same thing, and that is what I got. I’m not able to go into full details because other people are involved in this as well. I can tell you that if and when the Holy Spirit shows you something, especially if it’s about someone other than yourself then you should be praying, fasting, and standing in the gap for that person. Not condemning, hating, and ready to send them to exile. To be honest with you, I knew this situation existed, but I tried to ignore, downplay, deny, and push the issue so deep in my psyche hoping that go away and never return. Well, when you ask to be shown something, sometimes you have no clue what will come. For me, it was the last thing I wanted to deal with right now. For one, I have my own stuff I’m trying to deal with and trying to figure out. To think that I have to think about encouraging and holding someone else up at this point is not what I had in mind when I asked the Holy Spirit to open my eyes. But as some of us know, God ways are not our ways. It’s times like these that I remember the scripture, “obedience is greater than sacrifice”. It’s not a fun process, but it is a humbling when because then you remember that you are not your own and you were bought with a price. When you remember that, then you realize that your body, mind, heart, spirit, time, money, and everything else should belong to Jesus Christ. I’m not saying all this will happen instantaneously because I don’t think this perfection will ever be achieved while living in this imperfect world that continues to find ways to distract us and get us off course. I do believe that one can live a sanctified life and be set apart from the rest of the world. They can allow their lifestyle, mindset,and heart be different than mainstream culture. They can let their uniqueness be something that makes them shine with confidence and boldness knowing where the Source of their brightness and conviction comes from.

The other reason I didn't want to deal with this issue is because it places me in an awkward situation of being relatively close to the situation. I don’t like that, I like comfort, ease, and happy go lucky times. Right now, that is not the case for me. But then who said it was supposed to be?

Well, I leave you with with a video from Hillsong- Desert Song. I will be honest with you, with everything that I have typed, I don't "feel" like I'm in the desert at this point. I do feel like I am walking in unfamiliar terriority and wishing I knew what the results of everthing will be. Anyways, this is an encouragement to those who are walking in the desert, an anthem for those who just left the desert, and for the rest of us who just need to be reminded every so often, that:

In every season
You are still God,
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship



Until next time...

Link to a Profound Blog Entry

Hi all,

Plan to blog myself in the next few days. Anyways, I came across this blog and just wanted to share it with others. Adoption is certainly not for the faint hearted, but it is surely a calling that shouldn't be ignored. Anyways, read and enjoy!:)

Until next time...

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2010/08/teenagers-and-lesson-from-jacob.html

Can You See?

Took me awhile this time, but I finished the book, Fasting for Spiritual Breakthough by Elmer Towns last week. Again, the book is a must-read! Towards the end of the book, the author mentioned spiritual blindness, while explaining the Esther fast. He said, “Satan’s first strategy is to blind your mind from understanding spiritual things.” As I say the following, I am in no shape, form, or fashion saying that I am perfect and have no blame. If I were to say such, it would be in your best interest to not read another one of my blogs, because then I would truly be deceived. Anyways, I was brought up in the church and became a Christian (made a conscious decision to make Jesus Lord and Savior of my life) during my teens years. Since then, I have been able to see how other Christians have been blinded and couldn’t see various truths or lies right in front of them and I could. I would become so frustrated and couldn’t understand why they couldn’t see that their actions were detrimental, that they were lying to themselves about the gravity of their actions (which in my opinion is worse than lying to others, because if you deceive yourself, it only makes it that much harder for you to know the truth), that they were playing Russian roulette, and allowing sin to take them farther than what they wanted to go, stay longer than they intended to stay, and cost more than they wanted to pay. “Satan blinds the unsaved from seeing the gospel so they won’t become saved. He blinds believers from knowing and doing God’s will for their lives. (2 Cor. 4:4) Even ministers can become spiritually blind, denying fundamentals of the faith. Paul warned against ‘False apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. And no wonder! Satan himself transform himself into an angel of light. Therefore, it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness” (2 Cor. 11:13-15).

As I get older and more watchful, I have come to notice that this is the time of year (which I personally attribute it to being because of the Jewish New Year and God wanting things of the old to cease), when there always seems to be a shaking in the body of Christ and something that was in the dark comes to light, especially in mainstream Christian media/ministry. My advice for you is to brace yourself and remember that one, people are fallible and can make mistakes. My former pastor used to say, “Some people are sincere, but sincerely wrong”. This is something that can and does happen to everyone at one point or another in their lives. Two, we are living in a time where people are becoming lovers of themselves and because of that, they throw inhibition to the wind and choose not to consider the consequences even if they have a large following. Just because others are making unwise choices and may be falling to the wayside because of it, shouldn’t cause you to become offended with Jesus Christ or the Christian faith. God is not man that He should lie(or deceive). You can't allow other people's trippings and blindness of God, cause you to stumble and to detour from God's destiny for your life.

So this is my assignment for you all and myself:

1. Examine your own hearts (through prayer and fasting) and ask Jesus to show you something that you are blinded from and He wants you to see

2. Put on the Christian Armor (Ephesians 6:11)
*For the hips-Truth
*For the chest-Righteousness
*For the feet-Preparation of the Gospel
*For defense- The Shield of Faith
*For the head- The Helmet of Salvation
*For a sword- The Word of God

3. Pray for spiritual protection (as should be done on a daily basis- Psalm 34:7; 91:11)

4. Pray (and fast if called) for others who you know personally and otherwise, that their spiritual eyes be opened and enlightened to the truth of God’s Word(Ephesians 1:18)

Until next time...

What To Say???

I’m sort of having one of those weeks where I have plenty to say, but I really don’t want to share much. So I will share what I can and go from there. I’m sure some of you are wondering about how I’m dealing with the situation of forgiving the person who I felt hurt by. I will say that I’m moving through it. Some days are easier than others, but for the most part, I’m CHOOSING not to trip off the person too much. Why? Well, I keep reminding myself that I have way too much I need and want to accomplish in life and I don’t want to knowingly allow hurt and bitterness to slow my journey of accomplishing those tasks. I have to humble myself when I think about how the children of Israel could have reached in the promised land in about 11 days, but it took them 40 years instead (see Numbers 14:33-34). I’m sorry, but for me 40 years would be too long for me to wait and accomplish some of my goals, because of arrogance and stubbornness on my part. I will say for me personally, one of my strong points has always been to find humor in various situations. Since I still have to interact with this person on a frequent basis, I find ways to laugh about some of the interactions. Mostly, I laugh at myself and how I really set myself up for trouble for having the wrong expectations in the first place. In my opinion and the various situations I’ve been in laughter has been one of the best medicines for me. So that’s where I am with that.

Last night, I went to church and I would love to say I heard a great Word, but to be honest with you, I didn’t. Because the speaker had a strong accent, it was very difficult for me with my hearing loss to understand what was being said and quite frankly I was a bit frustrated with myself by the whole thing. BUT, thankfully my mom and sister taking notes for me and I was able to pick up a CD afterwards. I listened to it earlier today and was able pause, rewind, etc. the whole sermon when needed and take down notes here and there on what I’d miss. I have to say that although last night was frustrating I was glad I went and was able to get the CD. One very poignant statement the speaker, Mark Ramsey made was, “Faith comes by hearing, hearing the Word of God. Let me put that in good content for you. Faith doesn’t come because you listen to a message, faith doesn’t come because you read the Bible, faith doesn’t come when you hear the Word of God in general. Faith comes when you hear the words (voice) of God. In other words, what is God saying to you when you read the Bible? That’s what gives you faith.” After hearing that I really don’t know if there is another way you can break down how faith should play out in our everyday life than the way it was just explained. So my question to you and myself, is what has God been speaking to you lately as you’ve been reading his Word? Another great thing he said was, “You don’t get what you want in life, you get what you BELIEVE”. Last but not least, “Faith isn’t what you think you know, faith is what you know when you don’t think—it’s in the heart, not the head.”
After hearing the latter statement, I quickly asked myself what I truly had faith in as various things where popping in my head, the only area I knew that the faith thing was an issue for me is whether I will marry or not. As I’m typing this, I’m really having a hard time putting these words on the screen, because it puts me in a place of vulnerability, which is not a place that I’m exactly comfortable with. Honestly, if I had my way wouldn’t share it. But, I know there are others out there who have this same struggle. You are able to truly and wholeheartedly believe God for everything in your life EXCEPT that one small piece. The only thing is, it isn’t as small as we like to make it seem at times. For some it may be that they know they are supposed to become parents, or that their family members should be saved, or that they should receive a physical manifestation of their healing, or that they family should be restored, or that they will have a financial breakthrough, or that their ministry should begin, or whatever promises and dreams God has placed on their hearts. There are things I KNOW are without a doubt supposed to come to past in my life. I know I’m supposed to have a private practice, I know I’m supposed to adopt and be a mom, I know I’m supposed to work in some capacity in the ministry, I know I’m supposed to write, I know I’m supposed to let my life be a testimony in and of itself. I KNOW these things, but I still struggle with if I will get married or not. A few years ago, I wrote a list of the characteristics I believe I should have out of my future husband. When I made the list, I made it in mind knowing where God wants me to ultimately end up in life. As time went on, the more I looked at the list, the more I began to wonder if there was anyway, a person could ever come into fruition with the words I put on the paper. Now, the characteristics I wrote down some may say I’m expecting a perfect man, but I know in my hearts of hearts that that isn’t the case. I am however expecting a man who is perfect for me and whose life and lifestyle exemplifies that of a godly man. Some would also say that if I know I will be a mother then, I should know I’m will be a wife. Some might disagree with me, but I am open to being a single mother if that is the case. I do believe that in a perfect world a child should have two parents, a mother and a father. But as we all know that isn’t always the case. I’m not willing to resort to sinning and having sex outside of marriage to become a mother, but I am willing to be a single parent of a child who needs a home, love, and guidance from a parent. Since adoption is something that has been near and dear to my heart for a long time now, it’s something that I see in my future single or married. Because I’m such a analyzer (it’s what makes me good at my job-smile), I do believe the things I have put on my list are the things that not only I should want, but any godly woman should want out of her mate. For me the seed of doubt comes into play when I remember that everyone of us has free will. We all make choices everyday that determine our destiny. God has a perfect will and plan for our lives, but if we aren’t obedient to it, then that will obviously affect our destiny, as well as the others that are in our lives right now and those who are supposed to be in our lives at a later time. So because of that, God could very well have planned for a particular whoever to come into my life, but because of their possible choices of choosing not to obey Him, that could have an impact on my future as well. As I’m typing this, I’m reminded of the scripture that, “God is able to do exceedingly, abudantly above all you could ask or hope for.” – Ephesians 3:20. (Hmmm…teachable moment right there. That’s why it’s good to study the scripture for yourself and know the Word, so at times you can minister to your own selves. Thanks to technology and online Bible reference tools you don’t have to know where every single scripture is, but just know the scriptures enough to be able to look it up and read it in its entirety, because out of the abundance of the heart, so the mouth speaks- Luke 6:45)
Now, I didn’t write the above to feed you a seed of doubt, despair, or hopelessness. That is the last thing I am trying to do here. I did it to be open, honest, and transparent about where I am now. Our relationship with Jesus Christ is a journey with no final destination until we reach Heaven. Where I am now (spiritually, mentally, and emotionally) will not be where I am 3,6,12 months from now. That same principle should apply to you all as well. I choose to believe that whatever the outcome of my future marriage status is, that I will be able to look back at this period of my life and see that regardless, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord” – Lamentations 3:25-26

Until next time…