Hey everyone!
Hope you were able to enjoy the Christmas holiday with family, friends, and loved ones, as well as remember Christ being the reason for the season.
I can’t believe another year is coming to an end. I was just telling a friend of mine last week that I wasn’t ready for the new year just yet, because the year seems to have went by too quickly for me to really take everything in and welcome 2011 in with open arms. But in the last few days, I’ve been able to rest, recoup, and take in the past year and where I am now and now I’m ready for 2011. I’m curious to see where 2011 takes me, but have to say I’m amazed by what 2010 has been brought. Here’s a rundown of 2010:
January- spent much time reflecting and being ready for whatever the year would bring
February- I entered a 5 month relationship, started off blissfully and but quickly became a trainwreck. No regrets though, will DEFINITELY appreciate my Issac when he does enter my life
March- I was able to go to Kansas City and network with other mental health professionals who work with the Deaf/Hard of Hearing population and catch up with my oldest friend, Joelle
April- final exams, enjoying the blooming spring season, and enjoying my new spring wardrode (I’d lost weight the months prior)
May- brought a month of me running around trying to tie up lose ends before ending my 2nd year as a school social worker, and going to Osage Beach with my mom and sister Memorial Day weekend---good times had
June- the beginning of my summer break, my 29th birthday (last birthday in my 20s----whoo hoo!!), and going to Chicago with Joelle—many memories created
July- brought me ending my relationship, beginning a new part time job at a local library, and me getting back into blogging more often
August- began my 3rd year of school social work and re-evaluating my life
September- got back to remembering the things I should be focusing on at this point of my life
October- me learning I had completed my licensure hours—Thank you Jesus!
November- I saw once again how distractions can be a hindrance or propelling force—decided to let it be my propelling force
December- prepared for the holiday season at the last minute, seeing the logistics of my business slowly coming together, being reminded that what is easy is not always the best thing to do, and ready to embrace 2011
Unlike the beginning of 2010, I will be making a resolution, since I didn’t make one for my 29th birthday. I gotta have my lists! :) I have no clue what 2011 will bring, but I have to say I’m very excited about it being the year that holds my 30th birthday. It’s funny to think this time two and three years ago I dreaded turning the big 3-0, because life had not worked out the way I thought it would. Now I believe my 30s will be the decade that what I thought I wanted in my 20s, I will have in my 30s and more importantly than that, be ready and prepared for those things. Whatever 2011 and beyond brings, I’m ready!
"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
- Psalm 37:4 KJV
Until next time or in this case next year!:)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Relationship Isn't For You!
Hey everyone!
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving holiday and were able to be surrounded by those you love and enjoy to spend time with. Mine was a good one. A few days leading up to Thanksgiving, I was sick and had it took a few days to gain my strength and energy back. During the week of Thanksgiving, surprisingly to some, including myself, I kept saying that I’m SO THANKFUL that I’m not in the relationship I was in earlier this year. I honestly look back at that 5 months period and have to shake my head and say to myself, “Really, Tia, really?” It is what it is and it was a learning experience. But I’m so happy I was to be able to spend this Thanksgiving being thankful for not only the things I do have, but the things I don’t have in my life. I used to be baffled and a bit annoyed when people would tell me that it is better to be single and happy than in a relationship and unhappy. I could never really understand in my finite thinking how being in a relationship a person could be unhappy, but after this year, I’m able to say “Oh, now I GET it.” Right after the relationship ended, I wanted to immediately blog all the things I had learned from the relationship, but decided not to because the emotions were too raw and I would be typing out of hurt, anger, and frustration. Now, I’m typing out of reflection, a heart to help others who might be in the same boat I was a few months ago, or desire to have a relationship at this point ( I know the holidays don’t help a lot of those thoughts and feelings) and needed to be reminded why to wait for good and healthy relationship. So below are some of the things I learned while in that relationship and afterwards.
1. If you know you are emotionally and mentally stable and you feel like the guy isn’t into you, more than likely, he isn’t into you. Let me put it this way, if you feel like you are an inconvenience to him and the relationship isn’t for you.
2. Again, if you are emotionally and mentally stable, but every time you end a conversation with the guy, you are more lost and confused about the issue at hand than before the conversation the relationship isn’t for you.
3. If you have people in your life you know truly care about you and they constantly ask you why you are still in the relationship, then again, the relationship isn’t for you.
4. If you feel and know that if you were to be completely yourself (tell him your beliefs, dreams, convictions, etc.) with the guy, that the relationship would not work out, then the relationship isn’t for you.
5. If at the beginning of the relationship, you have questions about whether the two of you are spiritually compatible (have the same religious foundations/principles) and he isn’t trying or able to convince you otherwise, then the relationship isn’t for you.
6. If the guy isn’t willing to fight with and for you, then the relationship isn’t for you. An example would be when you express your concerns about whether the relationship he has with you will make it, and his response is “There are plenty of fish in the sea”---that is not a guy you want.
7. If things aren’t “great” and easy to resolve during the beginning and honeymoon stages of the relationship, then they won’t be any easier as time moves on, the relationship isn’t for you.
8. If you would have to compromise items that should be on your non-negotiable list i.e. a godly man who exemplifies the characteristics of Christ, wants to have kids and/or adopt, is a giver, etc., then the relationship isn’t for you.
9. If he says one thing, but does another and you call him out on it and either gets almost indignant with you or actually causes you to question your sanity, then the relationship isn’t for you.
10. If he starts off telling you the plans he has for you and the future and then midway those plans change without notice and you call him out on it and he isn’t able to give you a clear answer, then the relationship isn’t for you.
11. If he doesn’t make an effort to be around your close friends and family, then the relationship isn’t for you.
12. If you tell him what things make you happy and content and he doesn’t listen and follow through, then the relationship isn’t for you.
13. If he expects you to put more into the relationship than he’s put into it himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
14. If you spend more time in your relationship, crying, with a headache, and frustrated, then the relationship isn’t for you.
15. If you haven’t been in the relationship for that long (I was in mine for 5 months) and every month, he tells you he’s surprised that the relationship lasted this long, then RUN. Know that the relationship isn’t for you.
16. If you see signs that look like he’s trying to break up with you, more than likely he is and the relationship isn’t for you.
17. If he seems secretive and resents you asking him “too many questions”, then the relationship isn’t for you.
18. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, listen to what they say, even before you two become a couple, even the little things. The guy I dated told me before we dated he wanted to get a dog, after knowing him for years, I foolishly believed him and after we were dating I asked him about the dog and he stated that he didn’t want a dog and he was “just talking” when he told me he wanted a dog. A dog is a small thing to lie about, but if lies are told about small things, then one has to question the integrity and character of the other. Again, the relationship isn’t for you.
19. If he is willing to sacrifice you before himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
20. If he doesn’t feel like he’s able to have a “safe place” with you and you feel the same about him,then the relationship isn’t for you.
So, those are my tidbits of wisdom. I could have made the list longer, and trust me it is, but these are the universal signs that no matter what you want out of your individual relationship the things one should be looking out for. For those relationship, I beg you to please pray to God, that he reveal to you if this is the person you should be with at this period of your life, and for those who desire a relationship, I beg you to pray and ask God what it is that He would have you to do at this point of your life until that person does come along. Also, in a relationship right now or not, spend this time writing a list from your heart’s desire of what you know you want and need out of a future mate—should mostly be your non-negotiables. So when you in a relationship you can refer to the list and see if that person is measuring up to that list or not. If they aren’t, there should be a tug of war going on internally as to whether or not you should stay or leave the relationship. Write down your vision and make it plain (see Habbukak 2:2-4). When visions are written down, you are held accountable for seeing them through and it helps keep you focused—there have been plenty of studies done to confirm this. Whichever decision you make will have to be one you’ll have to live with. But if you chose to leave or let the relationship go, then you will know at the end it REALLY was for your best and you will be better off. Who knows maybe thankful that the relationship no longer exists like I was. :)
I leave you with this scripture to meditate on, “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but happy is he who keeps the law.” – Proverbs 29:18.
Until next time…
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving holiday and were able to be surrounded by those you love and enjoy to spend time with. Mine was a good one. A few days leading up to Thanksgiving, I was sick and had it took a few days to gain my strength and energy back. During the week of Thanksgiving, surprisingly to some, including myself, I kept saying that I’m SO THANKFUL that I’m not in the relationship I was in earlier this year. I honestly look back at that 5 months period and have to shake my head and say to myself, “Really, Tia, really?” It is what it is and it was a learning experience. But I’m so happy I was to be able to spend this Thanksgiving being thankful for not only the things I do have, but the things I don’t have in my life. I used to be baffled and a bit annoyed when people would tell me that it is better to be single and happy than in a relationship and unhappy. I could never really understand in my finite thinking how being in a relationship a person could be unhappy, but after this year, I’m able to say “Oh, now I GET it.” Right after the relationship ended, I wanted to immediately blog all the things I had learned from the relationship, but decided not to because the emotions were too raw and I would be typing out of hurt, anger, and frustration. Now, I’m typing out of reflection, a heart to help others who might be in the same boat I was a few months ago, or desire to have a relationship at this point ( I know the holidays don’t help a lot of those thoughts and feelings) and needed to be reminded why to wait for good and healthy relationship. So below are some of the things I learned while in that relationship and afterwards.
1. If you know you are emotionally and mentally stable and you feel like the guy isn’t into you, more than likely, he isn’t into you. Let me put it this way, if you feel like you are an inconvenience to him and the relationship isn’t for you.
2. Again, if you are emotionally and mentally stable, but every time you end a conversation with the guy, you are more lost and confused about the issue at hand than before the conversation the relationship isn’t for you.
3. If you have people in your life you know truly care about you and they constantly ask you why you are still in the relationship, then again, the relationship isn’t for you.
4. If you feel and know that if you were to be completely yourself (tell him your beliefs, dreams, convictions, etc.) with the guy, that the relationship would not work out, then the relationship isn’t for you.
5. If at the beginning of the relationship, you have questions about whether the two of you are spiritually compatible (have the same religious foundations/principles) and he isn’t trying or able to convince you otherwise, then the relationship isn’t for you.
6. If the guy isn’t willing to fight with and for you, then the relationship isn’t for you. An example would be when you express your concerns about whether the relationship he has with you will make it, and his response is “There are plenty of fish in the sea”---that is not a guy you want.
7. If things aren’t “great” and easy to resolve during the beginning and honeymoon stages of the relationship, then they won’t be any easier as time moves on, the relationship isn’t for you.
8. If you would have to compromise items that should be on your non-negotiable list i.e. a godly man who exemplifies the characteristics of Christ, wants to have kids and/or adopt, is a giver, etc., then the relationship isn’t for you.
9. If he says one thing, but does another and you call him out on it and either gets almost indignant with you or actually causes you to question your sanity, then the relationship isn’t for you.
10. If he starts off telling you the plans he has for you and the future and then midway those plans change without notice and you call him out on it and he isn’t able to give you a clear answer, then the relationship isn’t for you.
11. If he doesn’t make an effort to be around your close friends and family, then the relationship isn’t for you.
12. If you tell him what things make you happy and content and he doesn’t listen and follow through, then the relationship isn’t for you.
13. If he expects you to put more into the relationship than he’s put into it himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
14. If you spend more time in your relationship, crying, with a headache, and frustrated, then the relationship isn’t for you.
15. If you haven’t been in the relationship for that long (I was in mine for 5 months) and every month, he tells you he’s surprised that the relationship lasted this long, then RUN. Know that the relationship isn’t for you.
16. If you see signs that look like he’s trying to break up with you, more than likely he is and the relationship isn’t for you.
17. If he seems secretive and resents you asking him “too many questions”, then the relationship isn’t for you.
18. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, listen to what they say, even before you two become a couple, even the little things. The guy I dated told me before we dated he wanted to get a dog, after knowing him for years, I foolishly believed him and after we were dating I asked him about the dog and he stated that he didn’t want a dog and he was “just talking” when he told me he wanted a dog. A dog is a small thing to lie about, but if lies are told about small things, then one has to question the integrity and character of the other. Again, the relationship isn’t for you.
19. If he is willing to sacrifice you before himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
20. If he doesn’t feel like he’s able to have a “safe place” with you and you feel the same about him,then the relationship isn’t for you.
So, those are my tidbits of wisdom. I could have made the list longer, and trust me it is, but these are the universal signs that no matter what you want out of your individual relationship the things one should be looking out for. For those relationship, I beg you to please pray to God, that he reveal to you if this is the person you should be with at this period of your life, and for those who desire a relationship, I beg you to pray and ask God what it is that He would have you to do at this point of your life until that person does come along. Also, in a relationship right now or not, spend this time writing a list from your heart’s desire of what you know you want and need out of a future mate—should mostly be your non-negotiables. So when you in a relationship you can refer to the list and see if that person is measuring up to that list or not. If they aren’t, there should be a tug of war going on internally as to whether or not you should stay or leave the relationship. Write down your vision and make it plain (see Habbukak 2:2-4). When visions are written down, you are held accountable for seeing them through and it helps keep you focused—there have been plenty of studies done to confirm this. Whichever decision you make will have to be one you’ll have to live with. But if you chose to leave or let the relationship go, then you will know at the end it REALLY was for your best and you will be better off. Who knows maybe thankful that the relationship no longer exists like I was. :)
I leave you with this scripture to meditate on, “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but happy is he who keeps the law.” – Proverbs 29:18.
Until next time…
Monday, November 15, 2010
Ahhh....Now I Get It!
You remember a few weeks ago I left the Desert Song video for you guys. Apparently, it was for me as well. Opps! Such as life is, as soon as I became licensed at the end of October, my somewhat quiet and predictable days came to a halt. There seems to be drama all over now, especially work related, which is starting to affect me in my personal life. Of course, I’m at the point of wondering if this is the best time to start a private practice and right now in complete exhaustion I do not think it is. It is never a good thing to do anything when exhausted, because it isn’t done right and because you can’t think with clarity and proper reason at times of tiredness. I honestly wish I could take a sabbatical for a few weeks (already counting down the days until Christmas break) and catch my breathe and rejuvenate, but I can’t so gotta keep rolling with the punches for now.
“The steps of the good man are ordered by the Lord. And He delights in his way”- Psalm 37:23
Until next time…
“The steps of the good man are ordered by the Lord. And He delights in his way”- Psalm 37:23
Until next time…
FINALLY!
Okey dokey….last month I told you all that I would have more to mention very soon. Well, here it is. I am now able to sign my work documents with my name and the letters of, MSW, ACSW, LCSW! After four years in the making that whole licensure process is over with. It is my hope and dream to be able to open up a private practice in the upcoming months and work with hearing, Deaf, hard of hearing, Christians, non-Christians, and older and younger adults. This has been a dream of mine since 2000 when I decided to become a social worker in the first place. I have been trying to get preliminary stuff completed first (there are a lot of details involved in trying to begin a business) as well as juggle my already busy schedule. So I’ll definitely try to keep everyone posted on how that project is coming along. :)
Until next time...
Until next time...
Sunday, October 31, 2010
That's My King!
Hi Everyone!
Can't believe we are upon the last day of October. I plan to post more very soon. But thought with this entry I should post a YouTube reminder of who the God I worship is. I think just like anything other relationship, we get to the point of forgetting or taking for granted someone's attributes and until we are reminded somehow, don't really consider it. So enjoy!:)
Can't believe we are upon the last day of October. I plan to post more very soon. But thought with this entry I should post a YouTube reminder of who the God I worship is. I think just like anything other relationship, we get to the point of forgetting or taking for granted someone's attributes and until we are reminded somehow, don't really consider it. So enjoy!:)
Monday, October 11, 2010
RESULTS FROM THE CATARACT SURGERY
Hope everyone has been doing well and staying focused. I know it’s been a few weeks since I last posted on there. It truly never ceases to amaze me how quickly the days, weeks, months, and years pass. It was my intention to post before now, but I was busy dealing with having a cataract surgery along with other stuff, that I promise to share in an upcoming post. I guess I should clarify. My physical eyes have perfect vision, but my spiritual eyes are the ones that went through the ordeal. If you remember from my Can You See entry, I talked about allowing the Holy Spirit to show you things that that you were blinded to or couldn’t see. Well, I asked the same thing, and that is what I got. I’m not able to go into full details because other people are involved in this as well. I can tell you that if and when the Holy Spirit shows you something, especially if it’s about someone other than yourself then you should be praying, fasting, and standing in the gap for that person. Not condemning, hating, and ready to send them to exile. To be honest with you, I knew this situation existed, but I tried to ignore, downplay, deny, and push the issue so deep in my psyche hoping that go away and never return. Well, when you ask to be shown something, sometimes you have no clue what will come. For me, it was the last thing I wanted to deal with right now. For one, I have my own stuff I’m trying to deal with and trying to figure out. To think that I have to think about encouraging and holding someone else up at this point is not what I had in mind when I asked the Holy Spirit to open my eyes. But as some of us know, God ways are not our ways. It’s times like these that I remember the scripture, “obedience is greater than sacrifice”. It’s not a fun process, but it is a humbling when because then you remember that you are not your own and you were bought with a price. When you remember that, then you realize that your body, mind, heart, spirit, time, money, and everything else should belong to Jesus Christ. I’m not saying all this will happen instantaneously because I don’t think this perfection will ever be achieved while living in this imperfect world that continues to find ways to distract us and get us off course. I do believe that one can live a sanctified life and be set apart from the rest of the world. They can allow their lifestyle, mindset,and heart be different than mainstream culture. They can let their uniqueness be something that makes them shine with confidence and boldness knowing where the Source of their brightness and conviction comes from.
The other reason I didn't want to deal with this issue is because it places me in an awkward situation of being relatively close to the situation. I don’t like that, I like comfort, ease, and happy go lucky times. Right now, that is not the case for me. But then who said it was supposed to be?
Well, I leave you with with a video from Hillsong- Desert Song. I will be honest with you, with everything that I have typed, I don't "feel" like I'm in the desert at this point. I do feel like I am walking in unfamiliar terriority and wishing I knew what the results of everthing will be. Anyways, this is an encouragement to those who are walking in the desert, an anthem for those who just left the desert, and for the rest of us who just need to be reminded every so often, that:
In every season
You are still God,
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Until next time...
The other reason I didn't want to deal with this issue is because it places me in an awkward situation of being relatively close to the situation. I don’t like that, I like comfort, ease, and happy go lucky times. Right now, that is not the case for me. But then who said it was supposed to be?
Well, I leave you with with a video from Hillsong- Desert Song. I will be honest with you, with everything that I have typed, I don't "feel" like I'm in the desert at this point. I do feel like I am walking in unfamiliar terriority and wishing I knew what the results of everthing will be. Anyways, this is an encouragement to those who are walking in the desert, an anthem for those who just left the desert, and for the rest of us who just need to be reminded every so often, that:
In every season
You are still God,
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Until next time...
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Link to a Profound Blog Entry
Hi all,
Plan to blog myself in the next few days. Anyways, I came across this blog and just wanted to share it with others. Adoption is certainly not for the faint hearted, but it is surely a calling that shouldn't be ignored. Anyways, read and enjoy!:)
Until next time...
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2010/08/teenagers-and-lesson-from-jacob.html
Plan to blog myself in the next few days. Anyways, I came across this blog and just wanted to share it with others. Adoption is certainly not for the faint hearted, but it is surely a calling that shouldn't be ignored. Anyways, read and enjoy!:)
Until next time...
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2010/08/teenagers-and-lesson-from-jacob.html
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Can You See?
Took me awhile this time, but I finished the book, Fasting for Spiritual Breakthough by Elmer Towns last week. Again, the book is a must-read! Towards the end of the book, the author mentioned spiritual blindness, while explaining the Esther fast. He said, “Satan’s first strategy is to blind your mind from understanding spiritual things.” As I say the following, I am in no shape, form, or fashion saying that I am perfect and have no blame. If I were to say such, it would be in your best interest to not read another one of my blogs, because then I would truly be deceived. Anyways, I was brought up in the church and became a Christian (made a conscious decision to make Jesus Lord and Savior of my life) during my teens years. Since then, I have been able to see how other Christians have been blinded and couldn’t see various truths or lies right in front of them and I could. I would become so frustrated and couldn’t understand why they couldn’t see that their actions were detrimental, that they were lying to themselves about the gravity of their actions (which in my opinion is worse than lying to others, because if you deceive yourself, it only makes it that much harder for you to know the truth), that they were playing Russian roulette, and allowing sin to take them farther than what they wanted to go, stay longer than they intended to stay, and cost more than they wanted to pay. “Satan blinds the unsaved from seeing the gospel so they won’t become saved. He blinds believers from knowing and doing God’s will for their lives. (2 Cor. 4:4) Even ministers can become spiritually blind, denying fundamentals of the faith. Paul warned against ‘False apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. And no wonder! Satan himself transform himself into an angel of light. Therefore, it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness” (2 Cor. 11:13-15).
As I get older and more watchful, I have come to notice that this is the time of year (which I personally attribute it to being because of the Jewish New Year and God wanting things of the old to cease), when there always seems to be a shaking in the body of Christ and something that was in the dark comes to light, especially in mainstream Christian media/ministry. My advice for you is to brace yourself and remember that one, people are fallible and can make mistakes. My former pastor used to say, “Some people are sincere, but sincerely wrong”. This is something that can and does happen to everyone at one point or another in their lives. Two, we are living in a time where people are becoming lovers of themselves and because of that, they throw inhibition to the wind and choose not to consider the consequences even if they have a large following. Just because others are making unwise choices and may be falling to the wayside because of it, shouldn’t cause you to become offended with Jesus Christ or the Christian faith. God is not man that He should lie(or deceive). You can't allow other people's trippings and blindness of God, cause you to stumble and to detour from God's destiny for your life.
So this is my assignment for you all and myself:
1. Examine your own hearts (through prayer and fasting) and ask Jesus to show you something that you are blinded from and He wants you to see
2. Put on the Christian Armor (Ephesians 6:11)
*For the hips-Truth
*For the chest-Righteousness
*For the feet-Preparation of the Gospel
*For defense- The Shield of Faith
*For the head- The Helmet of Salvation
*For a sword- The Word of God
3. Pray for spiritual protection (as should be done on a daily basis- Psalm 34:7; 91:11)
4. Pray (and fast if called) for others who you know personally and otherwise, that their spiritual eyes be opened and enlightened to the truth of God’s Word(Ephesians 1:18)
Until next time...
As I get older and more watchful, I have come to notice that this is the time of year (which I personally attribute it to being because of the Jewish New Year and God wanting things of the old to cease), when there always seems to be a shaking in the body of Christ and something that was in the dark comes to light, especially in mainstream Christian media/ministry. My advice for you is to brace yourself and remember that one, people are fallible and can make mistakes. My former pastor used to say, “Some people are sincere, but sincerely wrong”. This is something that can and does happen to everyone at one point or another in their lives. Two, we are living in a time where people are becoming lovers of themselves and because of that, they throw inhibition to the wind and choose not to consider the consequences even if they have a large following. Just because others are making unwise choices and may be falling to the wayside because of it, shouldn’t cause you to become offended with Jesus Christ or the Christian faith. God is not man that He should lie(or deceive). You can't allow other people's trippings and blindness of God, cause you to stumble and to detour from God's destiny for your life.
So this is my assignment for you all and myself:
1. Examine your own hearts (through prayer and fasting) and ask Jesus to show you something that you are blinded from and He wants you to see
2. Put on the Christian Armor (Ephesians 6:11)
*For the hips-Truth
*For the chest-Righteousness
*For the feet-Preparation of the Gospel
*For defense- The Shield of Faith
*For the head- The Helmet of Salvation
*For a sword- The Word of God
3. Pray for spiritual protection (as should be done on a daily basis- Psalm 34:7; 91:11)
4. Pray (and fast if called) for others who you know personally and otherwise, that their spiritual eyes be opened and enlightened to the truth of God’s Word(Ephesians 1:18)
Until next time...
Sunday, September 12, 2010
What To Say???
I’m sort of having one of those weeks where I have plenty to say, but I really don’t want to share much. So I will share what I can and go from there. I’m sure some of you are wondering about how I’m dealing with the situation of forgiving the person who I felt hurt by. I will say that I’m moving through it. Some days are easier than others, but for the most part, I’m CHOOSING not to trip off the person too much. Why? Well, I keep reminding myself that I have way too much I need and want to accomplish in life and I don’t want to knowingly allow hurt and bitterness to slow my journey of accomplishing those tasks. I have to humble myself when I think about how the children of Israel could have reached in the promised land in about 11 days, but it took them 40 years instead (see Numbers 14:33-34). I’m sorry, but for me 40 years would be too long for me to wait and accomplish some of my goals, because of arrogance and stubbornness on my part. I will say for me personally, one of my strong points has always been to find humor in various situations. Since I still have to interact with this person on a frequent basis, I find ways to laugh about some of the interactions. Mostly, I laugh at myself and how I really set myself up for trouble for having the wrong expectations in the first place. In my opinion and the various situations I’ve been in laughter has been one of the best medicines for me. So that’s where I am with that.
Last night, I went to church and I would love to say I heard a great Word, but to be honest with you, I didn’t. Because the speaker had a strong accent, it was very difficult for me with my hearing loss to understand what was being said and quite frankly I was a bit frustrated with myself by the whole thing. BUT, thankfully my mom and sister taking notes for me and I was able to pick up a CD afterwards. I listened to it earlier today and was able pause, rewind, etc. the whole sermon when needed and take down notes here and there on what I’d miss. I have to say that although last night was frustrating I was glad I went and was able to get the CD. One very poignant statement the speaker, Mark Ramsey made was, “Faith comes by hearing, hearing the Word of God. Let me put that in good content for you. Faith doesn’t come because you listen to a message, faith doesn’t come because you read the Bible, faith doesn’t come when you hear the Word of God in general. Faith comes when you hear the words (voice) of God. In other words, what is God saying to you when you read the Bible? That’s what gives you faith.” After hearing that I really don’t know if there is another way you can break down how faith should play out in our everyday life than the way it was just explained. So my question to you and myself, is what has God been speaking to you lately as you’ve been reading his Word? Another great thing he said was, “You don’t get what you want in life, you get what you BELIEVE”. Last but not least, “Faith isn’t what you think you know, faith is what you know when you don’t think—it’s in the heart, not the head.”
After hearing the latter statement, I quickly asked myself what I truly had faith in as various things where popping in my head, the only area I knew that the faith thing was an issue for me is whether I will marry or not. As I’m typing this, I’m really having a hard time putting these words on the screen, because it puts me in a place of vulnerability, which is not a place that I’m exactly comfortable with. Honestly, if I had my way wouldn’t share it. But, I know there are others out there who have this same struggle. You are able to truly and wholeheartedly believe God for everything in your life EXCEPT that one small piece. The only thing is, it isn’t as small as we like to make it seem at times. For some it may be that they know they are supposed to become parents, or that their family members should be saved, or that they should receive a physical manifestation of their healing, or that they family should be restored, or that they will have a financial breakthrough, or that their ministry should begin, or whatever promises and dreams God has placed on their hearts. There are things I KNOW are without a doubt supposed to come to past in my life. I know I’m supposed to have a private practice, I know I’m supposed to adopt and be a mom, I know I’m supposed to work in some capacity in the ministry, I know I’m supposed to write, I know I’m supposed to let my life be a testimony in and of itself. I KNOW these things, but I still struggle with if I will get married or not. A few years ago, I wrote a list of the characteristics I believe I should have out of my future husband. When I made the list, I made it in mind knowing where God wants me to ultimately end up in life. As time went on, the more I looked at the list, the more I began to wonder if there was anyway, a person could ever come into fruition with the words I put on the paper. Now, the characteristics I wrote down some may say I’m expecting a perfect man, but I know in my hearts of hearts that that isn’t the case. I am however expecting a man who is perfect for me and whose life and lifestyle exemplifies that of a godly man. Some would also say that if I know I will be a mother then, I should know I’m will be a wife. Some might disagree with me, but I am open to being a single mother if that is the case. I do believe that in a perfect world a child should have two parents, a mother and a father. But as we all know that isn’t always the case. I’m not willing to resort to sinning and having sex outside of marriage to become a mother, but I am willing to be a single parent of a child who needs a home, love, and guidance from a parent. Since adoption is something that has been near and dear to my heart for a long time now, it’s something that I see in my future single or married. Because I’m such a analyzer (it’s what makes me good at my job-smile), I do believe the things I have put on my list are the things that not only I should want, but any godly woman should want out of her mate. For me the seed of doubt comes into play when I remember that everyone of us has free will. We all make choices everyday that determine our destiny. God has a perfect will and plan for our lives, but if we aren’t obedient to it, then that will obviously affect our destiny, as well as the others that are in our lives right now and those who are supposed to be in our lives at a later time. So because of that, God could very well have planned for a particular whoever to come into my life, but because of their possible choices of choosing not to obey Him, that could have an impact on my future as well. As I’m typing this, I’m reminded of the scripture that, “God is able to do exceedingly, abudantly above all you could ask or hope for.” – Ephesians 3:20. (Hmmm…teachable moment right there. That’s why it’s good to study the scripture for yourself and know the Word, so at times you can minister to your own selves. Thanks to technology and online Bible reference tools you don’t have to know where every single scripture is, but just know the scriptures enough to be able to look it up and read it in its entirety, because out of the abundance of the heart, so the mouth speaks- Luke 6:45)
Now, I didn’t write the above to feed you a seed of doubt, despair, or hopelessness. That is the last thing I am trying to do here. I did it to be open, honest, and transparent about where I am now. Our relationship with Jesus Christ is a journey with no final destination until we reach Heaven. Where I am now (spiritually, mentally, and emotionally) will not be where I am 3,6,12 months from now. That same principle should apply to you all as well. I choose to believe that whatever the outcome of my future marriage status is, that I will be able to look back at this period of my life and see that regardless, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord” – Lamentations 3:25-26
Until next time…
Last night, I went to church and I would love to say I heard a great Word, but to be honest with you, I didn’t. Because the speaker had a strong accent, it was very difficult for me with my hearing loss to understand what was being said and quite frankly I was a bit frustrated with myself by the whole thing. BUT, thankfully my mom and sister taking notes for me and I was able to pick up a CD afterwards. I listened to it earlier today and was able pause, rewind, etc. the whole sermon when needed and take down notes here and there on what I’d miss. I have to say that although last night was frustrating I was glad I went and was able to get the CD. One very poignant statement the speaker, Mark Ramsey made was, “Faith comes by hearing, hearing the Word of God. Let me put that in good content for you. Faith doesn’t come because you listen to a message, faith doesn’t come because you read the Bible, faith doesn’t come when you hear the Word of God in general. Faith comes when you hear the words (voice) of God. In other words, what is God saying to you when you read the Bible? That’s what gives you faith.” After hearing that I really don’t know if there is another way you can break down how faith should play out in our everyday life than the way it was just explained. So my question to you and myself, is what has God been speaking to you lately as you’ve been reading his Word? Another great thing he said was, “You don’t get what you want in life, you get what you BELIEVE”. Last but not least, “Faith isn’t what you think you know, faith is what you know when you don’t think—it’s in the heart, not the head.”
After hearing the latter statement, I quickly asked myself what I truly had faith in as various things where popping in my head, the only area I knew that the faith thing was an issue for me is whether I will marry or not. As I’m typing this, I’m really having a hard time putting these words on the screen, because it puts me in a place of vulnerability, which is not a place that I’m exactly comfortable with. Honestly, if I had my way wouldn’t share it. But, I know there are others out there who have this same struggle. You are able to truly and wholeheartedly believe God for everything in your life EXCEPT that one small piece. The only thing is, it isn’t as small as we like to make it seem at times. For some it may be that they know they are supposed to become parents, or that their family members should be saved, or that they should receive a physical manifestation of their healing, or that they family should be restored, or that they will have a financial breakthrough, or that their ministry should begin, or whatever promises and dreams God has placed on their hearts. There are things I KNOW are without a doubt supposed to come to past in my life. I know I’m supposed to have a private practice, I know I’m supposed to adopt and be a mom, I know I’m supposed to work in some capacity in the ministry, I know I’m supposed to write, I know I’m supposed to let my life be a testimony in and of itself. I KNOW these things, but I still struggle with if I will get married or not. A few years ago, I wrote a list of the characteristics I believe I should have out of my future husband. When I made the list, I made it in mind knowing where God wants me to ultimately end up in life. As time went on, the more I looked at the list, the more I began to wonder if there was anyway, a person could ever come into fruition with the words I put on the paper. Now, the characteristics I wrote down some may say I’m expecting a perfect man, but I know in my hearts of hearts that that isn’t the case. I am however expecting a man who is perfect for me and whose life and lifestyle exemplifies that of a godly man. Some would also say that if I know I will be a mother then, I should know I’m will be a wife. Some might disagree with me, but I am open to being a single mother if that is the case. I do believe that in a perfect world a child should have two parents, a mother and a father. But as we all know that isn’t always the case. I’m not willing to resort to sinning and having sex outside of marriage to become a mother, but I am willing to be a single parent of a child who needs a home, love, and guidance from a parent. Since adoption is something that has been near and dear to my heart for a long time now, it’s something that I see in my future single or married. Because I’m such a analyzer (it’s what makes me good at my job-smile), I do believe the things I have put on my list are the things that not only I should want, but any godly woman should want out of her mate. For me the seed of doubt comes into play when I remember that everyone of us has free will. We all make choices everyday that determine our destiny. God has a perfect will and plan for our lives, but if we aren’t obedient to it, then that will obviously affect our destiny, as well as the others that are in our lives right now and those who are supposed to be in our lives at a later time. So because of that, God could very well have planned for a particular whoever to come into my life, but because of their possible choices of choosing not to obey Him, that could have an impact on my future as well. As I’m typing this, I’m reminded of the scripture that, “God is able to do exceedingly, abudantly above all you could ask or hope for.” – Ephesians 3:20. (Hmmm…teachable moment right there. That’s why it’s good to study the scripture for yourself and know the Word, so at times you can minister to your own selves. Thanks to technology and online Bible reference tools you don’t have to know where every single scripture is, but just know the scriptures enough to be able to look it up and read it in its entirety, because out of the abundance of the heart, so the mouth speaks- Luke 6:45)
Now, I didn’t write the above to feed you a seed of doubt, despair, or hopelessness. That is the last thing I am trying to do here. I did it to be open, honest, and transparent about where I am now. Our relationship with Jesus Christ is a journey with no final destination until we reach Heaven. Where I am now (spiritually, mentally, and emotionally) will not be where I am 3,6,12 months from now. That same principle should apply to you all as well. I choose to believe that whatever the outcome of my future marriage status is, that I will be able to look back at this period of my life and see that regardless, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord” – Lamentations 3:25-26
Until next time…
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Oh Time, Where Art Thou?
Hey all!
Hope everyone has been doing well this past week. All I can say is I wish time would slow down a bit! I have been productive with my time lately, I just haven’t made a habit yet of the two things that are important and will remain important for the rest of my life. Find a way to exercise CONSISTENTLY (5-6 times a week) and set aside quite time or as I like to call it “dates” with God.:) Back to the drawing board to figure out my time budget. Yes, I said time budget--it's important to budget my time, because unlike money (yes, I also know I need to be a good steward with the money God has entrusted with me as well), I will never get it back. Well, as perfect timing would have it I was looking through my old journal and came across an entry that I needed to see and post somewhere I would see readily. I would love to take credit and say I came up with this list, but I didn’t and unfortunately I don’t know who did. Anyways, here it goes.
7 Steps for Re-Creating Your Circumstance:
1. Refuse to tolerate what you know isn’t from God in your life.
2.Repent of any sin that has contributed to your circumstances.
3. Reject the fatigue, stress, or fear preventing you from making needed changes.
4.Record your specific goals for what needs to change in your life and how, with God’s help and power, you are going to change them.
5. Rely on Him to replace old negative habits, with new positive ones.
6. Request God’s mercy, strength, and courage to obey as you humble yourself before Him.
7. Reap His harvests as you so seeds of your time, talent, and treasure into His Kingdom.
I hope someone else is able to find this useful and beneficial as you move forward in whatever season God has called you at this point.
Until next time...
Hope everyone has been doing well this past week. All I can say is I wish time would slow down a bit! I have been productive with my time lately, I just haven’t made a habit yet of the two things that are important and will remain important for the rest of my life. Find a way to exercise CONSISTENTLY (5-6 times a week) and set aside quite time or as I like to call it “dates” with God.:) Back to the drawing board to figure out my time budget. Yes, I said time budget--it's important to budget my time, because unlike money (yes, I also know I need to be a good steward with the money God has entrusted with me as well), I will never get it back. Well, as perfect timing would have it I was looking through my old journal and came across an entry that I needed to see and post somewhere I would see readily. I would love to take credit and say I came up with this list, but I didn’t and unfortunately I don’t know who did. Anyways, here it goes.
7 Steps for Re-Creating Your Circumstance:
1. Refuse to tolerate what you know isn’t from God in your life.
2.Repent of any sin that has contributed to your circumstances.
3. Reject the fatigue, stress, or fear preventing you from making needed changes.
4.Record your specific goals for what needs to change in your life and how, with God’s help and power, you are going to change them.
5. Rely on Him to replace old negative habits, with new positive ones.
6. Request God’s mercy, strength, and courage to obey as you humble yourself before Him.
7. Reap His harvests as you so seeds of your time, talent, and treasure into His Kingdom.
I hope someone else is able to find this useful and beneficial as you move forward in whatever season God has called you at this point.
Until next time...
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Sometimes Silence Truly is Golden
Well, as you can see I didn’t write a blog last week. No, I wasn’t being lazy or forgot. I just felt led to be quiet for a week in blog sphere. Although, I had plenty to talk about, sometimes the best one can do is be quiet and still, by doing so you will be amazed by some of the things that God brings to your attention---some forgotten, some avoided, some new ideas, or some right in front of your face the entire time, but for whatever reason you were blinded. Anyways, since I’ve been “decluttering” my life in the recent weeks, I’ve been able to focus on the things that God has placed on my heart. It was so interesting, because the other night while at work pushing the chairs in, I asked myself, “Do I really want to do this thing? I’m finally at a place where I am comfortable and content in life, for the most part love my life and by doing such and such is adding more responsibility, uncertainty, change, and causing me to have to discipline myself even more.” I even mentioned to myself that with my schedule change, it would affect me walking my dog on a consistent schedule that he and I have gotten used to. Then it dawned on me that life is not about comfort, in fact it’s been said, when things become too comfortable that means something is wrong. You are no longer growing, but becoming and remaining stagnant. I’m not sure about you readers out there, but as a human being and more importantly a Christian, that is the last thing I want to do. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that by preparing myself for this next phase in my life, I will ultimately be preparing myself to serve in the ministry (leadership role) somewhere down the road. So I’ve been doing some research and taking baby steps in the direction I am now headed. So that’s what I’ve been up to.
Now let me tell you what I’ve been reading! It’s a book on fasting, “Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough” by Elmer L. Towns. I’m only on chapter four and I have to say I really like the book. It talks about the various types of fasts and their significance. I still would recommend the other book on fasting that I mentioned a few years back, but just like we read more than one book on every other topic in the Bible, why should fasting be any different? As always, I think you all should read the book, but I will type out some quotes I have come across so far while reading:
“When you take control of your physical appetite, you develop strength to take control of your emotional appetite”
“When Satan control our thoughts, he controls our lives. When he lies to us about our lives, we are in bondage”
“Faith is recognizing God’s strategy and submitting to it”
“You never gain an outward victory over sin until you take inner responsibility for your actions. You cannot journey without until you have journeyed within. Just as the rings of a tree tell us it grows from the inner to the outer, so Christians must develop inner character before they can deal with the outer problems. The roots must grow before there is fruit”
“Emotional eyes are blinded with tears. Fearful eyes are blinded with terror.”
“The problem you long to free from, however, may actually be the circumstance that allows you to become what you long to be”
Profound and on point, wouldn’t you say? Go buy the book,it’s certainly worth having in your library!
Until next time....
“Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:3-5 (NKJV)
Now let me tell you what I’ve been reading! It’s a book on fasting, “Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough” by Elmer L. Towns. I’m only on chapter four and I have to say I really like the book. It talks about the various types of fasts and their significance. I still would recommend the other book on fasting that I mentioned a few years back, but just like we read more than one book on every other topic in the Bible, why should fasting be any different? As always, I think you all should read the book, but I will type out some quotes I have come across so far while reading:
“When you take control of your physical appetite, you develop strength to take control of your emotional appetite”
“When Satan control our thoughts, he controls our lives. When he lies to us about our lives, we are in bondage”
“Faith is recognizing God’s strategy and submitting to it”
“You never gain an outward victory over sin until you take inner responsibility for your actions. You cannot journey without until you have journeyed within. Just as the rings of a tree tell us it grows from the inner to the outer, so Christians must develop inner character before they can deal with the outer problems. The roots must grow before there is fruit”
“Emotional eyes are blinded with tears. Fearful eyes are blinded with terror.”
“The problem you long to free from, however, may actually be the circumstance that allows you to become what you long to be”
Profound and on point, wouldn’t you say? Go buy the book,it’s certainly worth having in your library!
Until next time....
“Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:3-5 (NKJV)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Have I Got a Book for You!
I just finished a great book titled, “The Gospel of Ruth: Loving God Enough to Break the Rules” by Carolyn Custis James. I loved the book, because it allowed me to see the Book of Ruth for more than I and a lot of people in the past have given it credit for. Most of us, especially women love the book, because we see the romance of Ruth and Boaz and then Ruth's life being “made complete” after becoming a mother to Obed. I refuse to talk too much about the book, because I think that it needs to be read. However, I will say out of everything I got out of the book, one is that it reminded me once more I am supposed to be be God’s image bearer and in doing so, it means that I will have to go against the grain of my logic, my experience, and the viewpoint of society as a whole. Looking back the choices I have made thus far have been “unique” in some ways compared to that of my peers, but I have to admit, I have always been quiet and reserved about some of my convictions and beliefs of what God has called for me to do. So, for those out there who want to know what else you can get out of the Book of Ruth that wasn’t taught in Sunday Schools, learn about being God’s image bearer, learning what the word “hesed” means, learning if women are meant to play a huge and pivotal role in God’s kingdom with or without a husband,and whatever else God wants you to see and learn while reading this, this is the book to get.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Do I Really Have To?
Wow, the first week of August is actually here. The time seems to fly by so quickly, more than half of 2010 has passed and I’m left to reflect that some of the goals that I had my heart set on accomplishing this year haven’t been reached yet.:/ I could look back with disgust and disappointment by that fact, but I choose not to. I see that 2010, so far has not went the way I planned, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t learned a lot during this time. Although, I have to say that if I had used my God-given discernment in a few areas of my life, it would have prevented experience from being my teacher (words said by my favorite blogger--Shellie Warren). The sermon this past weekend at my church was definitely one I needed to hear. It dealt with moving forward in life and not becoming stuck in our mess and clutter that one way or another we have found ourselves in. During the sermon, I was thinking about all the “clutter”----emotionally, mentally, physically, etc, I have in my life at this point and how it is even starting to get on my nerves dealing with. One being Facebook---for me, it’s one of those things I love, but equally hate. I love keeping up with old friends, new friends, acquaintances, etc. and seeing what everyone is up to in their everyday life. On the same token, I hate how much time, energy, and attention it literally sucks out of my day looking at the site on my computer and phone. So last week I decided to take a Facebook sabbatical. Curiosity, does tug me every so often, and I’m tempted to “visit”, but I have to admit I feel liberated knowing that my time and attention isn’t consumed by Status Updates.
Earlier today, I decided there were some other things in my life I needed to get rid of, if even for a short time. By doing this, I am able to focus on the things that really need to be focused on --I am really good at avoiding things when I want. For a few weeks now, Holy Spirit has been telling me to do something that quite frankly, I don’t want to do. To be honest with you, the thing I should be doing is the Christian and godly thing to do, but pride has such a way of making one feel self-righteous, especially when we feel we have been wronged in one way or another by someone. Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” I’m honestly not trying to get to that place, so humbleness I will do. Even after being reminded of that scripture it doesn’t make me happy to give up my feeling of superiority, but then I’m reminded of the scripture, “ Does the Lord really want sacrifices and offerings? No! He doesn’t want your sacrifices. He wants you to obey him.” - I Samuel 15:22 (Contemporary English Version) Again, doesn’t make what I have to do any easier on my part, but certainly makes it very clear. I already know when I done with this process, at the end, my heart will be as “silver is refined” (Zechariah 13:9) and a tad closer to resembling that of my Father.:)
So as I venture out my journey of being submitted to what God has called me to do at this point, I encourage everyone to do the same. Please don’t leave me hanging! (smile) My pastor made a statement this past weekend during his sermon, that sums it all up,“Pride is about clinging (to whatever you are not wanting to let go of), not releasing. We must bow our knees so we can be in the position to learn, because we become humble when we bow.”-Jim Stern
Until next time...
Earlier today, I decided there were some other things in my life I needed to get rid of, if even for a short time. By doing this, I am able to focus on the things that really need to be focused on --I am really good at avoiding things when I want. For a few weeks now, Holy Spirit has been telling me to do something that quite frankly, I don’t want to do. To be honest with you, the thing I should be doing is the Christian and godly thing to do, but pride has such a way of making one feel self-righteous, especially when we feel we have been wronged in one way or another by someone. Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” I’m honestly not trying to get to that place, so humbleness I will do. Even after being reminded of that scripture it doesn’t make me happy to give up my feeling of superiority, but then I’m reminded of the scripture, “ Does the Lord really want sacrifices and offerings? No! He doesn’t want your sacrifices. He wants you to obey him.” - I Samuel 15:22 (Contemporary English Version) Again, doesn’t make what I have to do any easier on my part, but certainly makes it very clear. I already know when I done with this process, at the end, my heart will be as “silver is refined” (Zechariah 13:9) and a tad closer to resembling that of my Father.:)
So as I venture out my journey of being submitted to what God has called me to do at this point, I encourage everyone to do the same. Please don’t leave me hanging! (smile) My pastor made a statement this past weekend during his sermon, that sums it all up,“Pride is about clinging (to whatever you are not wanting to let go of), not releasing. We must bow our knees so we can be in the position to learn, because we become humble when we bow.”-Jim Stern
Until next time...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I'M BACK!!!
I’m back!
Didn’t mean to be gone so long in the first place. Actually, didn’t mean to be gone at all, but from here on out, I will strive to do better. More on why later. Anyways, I’m sure some of you are wondering where I’ve been. I had to ask myself that as well. Here it goes, I spent the month of January working, working out, spending time with Levi, family and friends, and anticipating what the year of 2010 would bring. Then in February, unbeknown-st to me, it brought a romantic relationship. Yep, I finally get to the point of being content being single and nowhere near getting and being married anytime soon and BAM! RELATIONSHIP! The relationship started off nice and wonderful, but at the end of the day, it just wasn’t meant to be. The break up happened relatively recently and I’m doing better mentally and emotionally than I did the first time I survived a break up. I wish I could credit it as being breaking up gets easier the more it happens, but I’m not convinced of that. I am convinced it’s easier to let go when fundamental standards and values were not compromised along the way. That’s not to say I reflect back, on the relationship and think everything was perfect, but I can look back with no regrets. Anyways, enough about the relationship for now.
Anyways, after the relationship, I had time to think with a clear head and begin to wonder, “What now?” Instantaneously, the answer was “Blog”. Not sure about the rest of you out there, but when I ask a question and get an answer out of the blue like that, from previous experiences, it was usually Holy Spirit speaking to me. Now, you all know that blogging isn’t a new thing for me, but being consistent and disciplined about it would be. So this time around if there are those out there who are keeping up with me (plan to blog at least once a week) and you start to see that I’m not typing on a weekly basis, I give you permission to hold me accountable. Okay??? Okay!!! Some are probably wondering why I’m making a big deal about this whole blogging thing. Well, I’m gonna tell you. To be honest with you, I believe at this point of my life it is one of the things I’m a called to do. I’m not sure if I wanted to say it’s my ministry, but I intend to treat it as such. Since, I was a kid I loved to write. Even thought about majoring in English in college. But me being the planner I was, was concerned that an English degree wouldn’t provide me with a consistent paycheck. Besides, I love helping people and watching them mature mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. What better profession outside working in the church to get involved in than social work? (Smile) Fast forward to more recent years, busy schedule, shift in priorities, distractions, lack of self-motivation and self-discipline has led me to blog on an very inconsistent basis. Although at times I’ve had PLENTY to blog about---not just the weekly happenings of my life, but also what Holy Spirit was/is speaking to me and at times wanted to speak through me. I know I have spent plenty of time procrastinating and avoiding going forth in ministry (small steps---Matthew 25:23) because of fear, laziness, discouragement, and so many other gamuts of emotions and thoughts that run through our human minds. I’m ready to see what the journey of being faithful, consistent, and obedient leads me. As I do this, I expect my readers to do the same.
Until next time....
Didn’t mean to be gone so long in the first place. Actually, didn’t mean to be gone at all, but from here on out, I will strive to do better. More on why later. Anyways, I’m sure some of you are wondering where I’ve been. I had to ask myself that as well. Here it goes, I spent the month of January working, working out, spending time with Levi, family and friends, and anticipating what the year of 2010 would bring. Then in February, unbeknown-st to me, it brought a romantic relationship. Yep, I finally get to the point of being content being single and nowhere near getting and being married anytime soon and BAM! RELATIONSHIP! The relationship started off nice and wonderful, but at the end of the day, it just wasn’t meant to be. The break up happened relatively recently and I’m doing better mentally and emotionally than I did the first time I survived a break up. I wish I could credit it as being breaking up gets easier the more it happens, but I’m not convinced of that. I am convinced it’s easier to let go when fundamental standards and values were not compromised along the way. That’s not to say I reflect back, on the relationship and think everything was perfect, but I can look back with no regrets. Anyways, enough about the relationship for now.
Anyways, after the relationship, I had time to think with a clear head and begin to wonder, “What now?” Instantaneously, the answer was “Blog”. Not sure about the rest of you out there, but when I ask a question and get an answer out of the blue like that, from previous experiences, it was usually Holy Spirit speaking to me. Now, you all know that blogging isn’t a new thing for me, but being consistent and disciplined about it would be. So this time around if there are those out there who are keeping up with me (plan to blog at least once a week) and you start to see that I’m not typing on a weekly basis, I give you permission to hold me accountable. Okay??? Okay!!! Some are probably wondering why I’m making a big deal about this whole blogging thing. Well, I’m gonna tell you. To be honest with you, I believe at this point of my life it is one of the things I’m a called to do. I’m not sure if I wanted to say it’s my ministry, but I intend to treat it as such. Since, I was a kid I loved to write. Even thought about majoring in English in college. But me being the planner I was, was concerned that an English degree wouldn’t provide me with a consistent paycheck. Besides, I love helping people and watching them mature mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. What better profession outside working in the church to get involved in than social work? (Smile) Fast forward to more recent years, busy schedule, shift in priorities, distractions, lack of self-motivation and self-discipline has led me to blog on an very inconsistent basis. Although at times I’ve had PLENTY to blog about---not just the weekly happenings of my life, but also what Holy Spirit was/is speaking to me and at times wanted to speak through me. I know I have spent plenty of time procrastinating and avoiding going forth in ministry (small steps---Matthew 25:23) because of fear, laziness, discouragement, and so many other gamuts of emotions and thoughts that run through our human minds. I’m ready to see what the journey of being faithful, consistent, and obedient leads me. As I do this, I expect my readers to do the same.
Until next time....
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