Saturday, January 15, 2011

Authencity, authencity, authencity....

Hi everyone!

Hope the 1st half of January has been a good one for you all. :) For me it’s been a time of laying all the cards out on the table and seeing all the possibilities this year and beyond could bring. I’m now trying to narrow down and see what path I’m supposed to take, not necessarily the one I have planned or want to take. So needless to say, it is a bit frustrating, but also it does give me the hopes that I am a little closer to living my “authentic life”. Without trying to sound new age-y, what I mean by authentic life is living the life that God desires for me to live and no longer trying to find a balance between being politically and socially correct and being a sold-out woman for Jesus Christ. As I get older, I can’t say I believe it’s possible, especially in the 21st century. It’s oil and water if you ask me, which causes me to recall the scripture verse Romans 12:2,"Be ye not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Looking back at my younger years, I was so dogmatic and black and white with a lot of my belief systems because of my Type A personality type. When I arrived to college I spent those years trying to “find myself” and figure out what I believed, for myself and not readily adopting my parent’s belief system without having my own life experiences to be my foundation. While doing that, I realized that life is not always black and white and can have shades of gray at times. After realizing that, I went from one extreme to being so vocal and blunt to subdued and passive when it came to my belief system. So, as I embark a new year and close to the beginning of my 3rd decade on earth (less than 6 months away—whoo hoo), I want to live a life where I can look back and know that I lived the life that God intended for me to live. I want to accomplish that by doing the things He wanted me to do, going the places He wanted me to go, meeting the people He wanted me to meet, focusing on the causes He wanted me to focus on, and having a heart for the whatever He has a heart for. What better way to live life than to walk through it having the privilege and blessing of hearing Him whisper to our spirits, “Well done, my good and faithful servant…”

With all of that being said, sometime the things we are called to do will go against the norms of society and may cause us to look weird and out of place. For the most part, through my actions, I have stuck by my principles and convictions, which alone has made me feel out of place and lonely at times. The issue that bothers me most is when I’ve been silent about most of my principles and convictions and don’t always vocalize why I believe what I believe, which is usually based on biblical grounds (so unpopular nowadays), it is in fear of being looked at as out of touch, rigid, and dogmatic. All characteristics I find to be unattractive in a person—Christian or non-Christian. So it is my desire from here on out to be that Christian that is authentic in action (which I’ve been doing), voice (which I need to improve on), while still being approachable to most I come in contact with. If you aren't approachable, whose life are you going to help transform? At the end of the day, what is the point of me having Truth and not sharing with others as to why I have it and how I got it?! So are you living your authentic life in Christ? If not, now is as a better time as any to do so. :)

Side note, recently began doing more research on fasting and found this website about how to do a Daniel Fast and just fasting in general is interesting. I haven’t tried the tips out yet, but thought I’d let others know about what appears to be a good resources to have.

http://danielfast.wordpress.com/daniel-fast-food-list/
http://ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000035268
http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting/danielfast.php

"But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." -Luke 6:49

Until next time...

Friday, December 31, 2010

Okay, 2011 I’m ready now!

Hey everyone!

Hope you were able to enjoy the Christmas holiday with family, friends, and loved ones, as well as remember Christ being the reason for the season.
I can’t believe another year is coming to an end. I was just telling a friend of mine last week that I wasn’t ready for the new year just yet, because the year seems to have went by too quickly for me to really take everything in and welcome 2011 in with open arms. But in the last few days, I’ve been able to rest, recoup, and take in the past year and where I am now and now I’m ready for 2011. I’m curious to see where 2011 takes me, but have to say I’m amazed by what 2010 has been brought. Here’s a rundown of 2010:

January- spent much time reflecting and being ready for whatever the year would bring

February- I entered a 5 month relationship, started off blissfully and but quickly became a trainwreck. No regrets though, will DEFINITELY appreciate my Issac when he does enter my life

March- I was able to go to Kansas City and network with other mental health professionals who work with the Deaf/Hard of Hearing population and catch up with my oldest friend, Joelle

April- final exams, enjoying the blooming spring season, and enjoying my new spring wardrode (I’d lost weight the months prior)

May- brought a month of me running around trying to tie up lose ends before ending my 2nd year as a school social worker, and going to Osage Beach with my mom and sister Memorial Day weekend---good times had

June- the beginning of my summer break, my 29th birthday (last birthday in my 20s----whoo hoo!!), and going to Chicago with Joelle—many memories created

July- brought me ending my relationship, beginning a new part time job at a local library, and me getting back into blogging more often

August- began my 3rd year of school social work and re-evaluating my life

September- got back to remembering the things I should be focusing on at this point of my life

October- me learning I had completed my licensure hours—Thank you Jesus!

November- I saw once again how distractions can be a hindrance or propelling force—decided to let it be my propelling force

December- prepared for the holiday season at the last minute, seeing the logistics of my business slowly coming together, being reminded that what is easy is not always the best thing to do, and ready to embrace 2011

Unlike the beginning of 2010, I will be making a resolution, since I didn’t make one for my 29th birthday. I gotta have my lists! :) I have no clue what 2011 will bring, but I have to say I’m very excited about it being the year that holds my 30th birthday. It’s funny to think this time two and three years ago I dreaded turning the big 3-0, because life had not worked out the way I thought it would. Now I believe my 30s will be the decade that what I thought I wanted in my 20s, I will have in my 30s and more importantly than that, be ready and prepared for those things. Whatever 2011 and beyond brings, I’m ready!

"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
- Psalm 37:4 KJV


Until next time or in this case next year!:)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Relationship Isn't For You!

Hey everyone!

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving holiday and were able to be surrounded by those you love and enjoy to spend time with. Mine was a good one. A few days leading up to Thanksgiving, I was sick and had it took a few days to gain my strength and energy back. During the week of Thanksgiving, surprisingly to some, including myself, I kept saying that I’m SO THANKFUL that I’m not in the relationship I was in earlier this year. I honestly look back at that 5 months period and have to shake my head and say to myself, “Really, Tia, really?” It is what it is and it was a learning experience. But I’m so happy I was to be able to spend this Thanksgiving being thankful for not only the things I do have, but the things I don’t have in my life. I used to be baffled and a bit annoyed when people would tell me that it is better to be single and happy than in a relationship and unhappy. I could never really understand in my finite thinking how being in a relationship a person could be unhappy, but after this year, I’m able to say “Oh, now I GET it.” Right after the relationship ended, I wanted to immediately blog all the things I had learned from the relationship, but decided not to because the emotions were too raw and I would be typing out of hurt, anger, and frustration. Now, I’m typing out of reflection, a heart to help others who might be in the same boat I was a few months ago, or desire to have a relationship at this point ( I know the holidays don’t help a lot of those thoughts and feelings) and needed to be reminded why to wait for good and healthy relationship. So below are some of the things I learned while in that relationship and afterwards.

1. If you know you are emotionally and mentally stable and you feel like the guy isn’t into you, more than likely, he isn’t into you. Let me put it this way, if you feel like you are an inconvenience to him and the relationship isn’t for you.
2. Again, if you are emotionally and mentally stable, but every time you end a conversation with the guy, you are more lost and confused about the issue at hand than before the conversation the relationship isn’t for you.
3. If you have people in your life you know truly care about you and they constantly ask you why you are still in the relationship, then again, the relationship isn’t for you.
4. If you feel and know that if you were to be completely yourself (tell him your beliefs, dreams, convictions, etc.) with the guy, that the relationship would not work out, then the relationship isn’t for you.
5. If at the beginning of the relationship, you have questions about whether the two of you are spiritually compatible (have the same religious foundations/principles) and he isn’t trying or able to convince you otherwise, then the relationship isn’t for you.
6. If the guy isn’t willing to fight with and for you, then the relationship isn’t for you. An example would be when you express your concerns about whether the relationship he has with you will make it, and his response is “There are plenty of fish in the sea”---that is not a guy you want.
7. If things aren’t “great” and easy to resolve during the beginning and honeymoon stages of the relationship, then they won’t be any easier as time moves on, the relationship isn’t for you.
8. If you would have to compromise items that should be on your non-negotiable list i.e. a godly man who exemplifies the characteristics of Christ, wants to have kids and/or adopt, is a giver, etc., then the relationship isn’t for you.
9. If he says one thing, but does another and you call him out on it and either gets almost indignant with you or actually causes you to question your sanity, then the relationship isn’t for you.
10. If he starts off telling you the plans he has for you and the future and then midway those plans change without notice and you call him out on it and he isn’t able to give you a clear answer, then the relationship isn’t for you.
11. If he doesn’t make an effort to be around your close friends and family, then the relationship isn’t for you.
12. If you tell him what things make you happy and content and he doesn’t listen and follow through, then the relationship isn’t for you.
13. If he expects you to put more into the relationship than he’s put into it himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
14. If you spend more time in your relationship, crying, with a headache, and frustrated, then the relationship isn’t for you.
15. If you haven’t been in the relationship for that long (I was in mine for 5 months) and every month, he tells you he’s surprised that the relationship lasted this long, then RUN. Know that the relationship isn’t for you.
16. If you see signs that look like he’s trying to break up with you, more than likely he is and the relationship isn’t for you.
17. If he seems secretive and resents you asking him “too many questions”, then the relationship isn’t for you.
18. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, listen to what they say, even before you two become a couple, even the little things. The guy I dated told me before we dated he wanted to get a dog, after knowing him for years, I foolishly believed him and after we were dating I asked him about the dog and he stated that he didn’t want a dog and he was “just talking” when he told me he wanted a dog. A dog is a small thing to lie about, but if lies are told about small things, then one has to question the integrity and character of the other. Again, the relationship isn’t for you.
19. If he is willing to sacrifice you before himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
20. If he doesn’t feel like he’s able to have a “safe place” with you and you feel the same about him,then the relationship isn’t for you.

So, those are my tidbits of wisdom. I could have made the list longer, and trust me it is, but these are the universal signs that no matter what you want out of your individual relationship the things one should be looking out for. For those relationship, I beg you to please pray to God, that he reveal to you if this is the person you should be with at this period of your life, and for those who desire a relationship, I beg you to pray and ask God what it is that He would have you to do at this point of your life until that person does come along. Also, in a relationship right now or not, spend this time writing a list from your heart’s desire of what you know you want and need out of a future mate—should mostly be your non-negotiables. So when you in a relationship you can refer to the list and see if that person is measuring up to that list or not. If they aren’t, there should be a tug of war going on internally as to whether or not you should stay or leave the relationship. Write down your vision and make it plain (see Habbukak 2:2-4). When visions are written down, you are held accountable for seeing them through and it helps keep you focused—there have been plenty of studies done to confirm this. Whichever decision you make will have to be one you’ll have to live with. But if you chose to leave or let the relationship go, then you will know at the end it REALLY was for your best and you will be better off. Who knows maybe thankful that the relationship no longer exists like I was. :)

I leave you with this scripture to meditate on, “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but happy is he who keeps the law.” – Proverbs 29:18.

Until next time…

Monday, November 15, 2010

Ahhh....Now I Get It!

You remember a few weeks ago I left the Desert Song video for you guys. Apparently, it was for me as well. Opps! Such as life is, as soon as I became licensed at the end of October, my somewhat quiet and predictable days came to a halt. There seems to be drama all over now, especially work related, which is starting to affect me in my personal life. Of course, I’m at the point of wondering if this is the best time to start a private practice and right now in complete exhaustion I do not think it is. It is never a good thing to do anything when exhausted, because it isn’t done right and because you can’t think with clarity and proper reason at times of tiredness. I honestly wish I could take a sabbatical for a few weeks (already counting down the days until Christmas break) and catch my breathe and rejuvenate, but I can’t so gotta keep rolling with the punches for now.

“The steps of the good man are ordered by the Lord. And He delights in his way”- Psalm 37:23

Until next time…

FINALLY!

Okey dokey….last month I told you all that I would have more to mention very soon. Well, here it is. I am now able to sign my work documents with my name and the letters of, MSW, ACSW, LCSW! After four years in the making that whole licensure process is over with. It is my hope and dream to be able to open up a private practice in the upcoming months and work with hearing, Deaf, hard of hearing, Christians, non-Christians, and older and younger adults. This has been a dream of mine since 2000 when I decided to become a social worker in the first place. I have been trying to get preliminary stuff completed first (there are a lot of details involved in trying to begin a business) as well as juggle my already busy schedule. So I’ll definitely try to keep everyone posted on how that project is coming along. :)

Until next time...

Sunday, October 31, 2010

That's My King!

Hi Everyone!

Can't believe we are upon the last day of October. I plan to post more very soon. But thought with this entry I should post a YouTube reminder of who the God I worship is. I think just like anything other relationship, we get to the point of forgetting or taking for granted someone's attributes and until we are reminded somehow, don't really consider it. So enjoy!:)

Monday, October 11, 2010

RESULTS FROM THE CATARACT SURGERY

Hope everyone has been doing well and staying focused. I know it’s been a few weeks since I last posted on there. It truly never ceases to amaze me how quickly the days, weeks, months, and years pass. It was my intention to post before now, but I was busy dealing with having a cataract surgery along with other stuff, that I promise to share in an upcoming post. I guess I should clarify. My physical eyes have perfect vision, but my spiritual eyes are the ones that went through the ordeal. If you remember from my Can You See entry, I talked about allowing the Holy Spirit to show you things that that you were blinded to or couldn’t see. Well, I asked the same thing, and that is what I got. I’m not able to go into full details because other people are involved in this as well. I can tell you that if and when the Holy Spirit shows you something, especially if it’s about someone other than yourself then you should be praying, fasting, and standing in the gap for that person. Not condemning, hating, and ready to send them to exile. To be honest with you, I knew this situation existed, but I tried to ignore, downplay, deny, and push the issue so deep in my psyche hoping that go away and never return. Well, when you ask to be shown something, sometimes you have no clue what will come. For me, it was the last thing I wanted to deal with right now. For one, I have my own stuff I’m trying to deal with and trying to figure out. To think that I have to think about encouraging and holding someone else up at this point is not what I had in mind when I asked the Holy Spirit to open my eyes. But as some of us know, God ways are not our ways. It’s times like these that I remember the scripture, “obedience is greater than sacrifice”. It’s not a fun process, but it is a humbling when because then you remember that you are not your own and you were bought with a price. When you remember that, then you realize that your body, mind, heart, spirit, time, money, and everything else should belong to Jesus Christ. I’m not saying all this will happen instantaneously because I don’t think this perfection will ever be achieved while living in this imperfect world that continues to find ways to distract us and get us off course. I do believe that one can live a sanctified life and be set apart from the rest of the world. They can allow their lifestyle, mindset,and heart be different than mainstream culture. They can let their uniqueness be something that makes them shine with confidence and boldness knowing where the Source of their brightness and conviction comes from.

The other reason I didn't want to deal with this issue is because it places me in an awkward situation of being relatively close to the situation. I don’t like that, I like comfort, ease, and happy go lucky times. Right now, that is not the case for me. But then who said it was supposed to be?

Well, I leave you with with a video from Hillsong- Desert Song. I will be honest with you, with everything that I have typed, I don't "feel" like I'm in the desert at this point. I do feel like I am walking in unfamiliar terriority and wishing I knew what the results of everthing will be. Anyways, this is an encouragement to those who are walking in the desert, an anthem for those who just left the desert, and for the rest of us who just need to be reminded every so often, that:

In every season
You are still God,
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship




Until next time...