Hey everyone!
As always, it is my hope that you are continuing to walk and grow in your relationship with Jesus Christ. I’m embarrassed to say, but it just occurred to me that not everyone who reads this site is a born-again Christian. If that is the case, and you want the opportunity to become one, then I truly apologize for not posting this earlier. I found this website that covers all bases (all the fonts in bold are found at joycemeyer.org):
How to Become a Christian
Why am I here? Who am I? What will happen when I die? These questions have intrigued people throughout the ages. And the answers can be discovered by understanding God’s plan of salvation.
You have probably heard the story of God's love referred to as the "Gospel" or "Good News." What is the Good News? Simply this: Because of what Jesus has done, your sins can be forgiven and you can live forever.
What did Jesus do? Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came into the world as a human being, lived a sinless life, died on the cross and rose from the dead.
Because Christ died to pay for our sins, your sins can be forgiven. And because He conquered death, you can have eternal life—you can know for sure what will happen to you after you die.
But this gift of forgiveness and eternal life cannot be yours unless you willingly ask for it. God requires an individual response from you.
In Revelation 3:20, Jesus says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."
What does this mean? Jesus Christ wants to have a personal relationship with you. He is waiting for you to receive Him into your heart and life. All you have to do is invite Him in.
But your first step is to ask for forgiveness:
Repent...that your sins may be wiped out and times of refreshing may come from the Lord. —Acts 3:19
Once you’ve asked for forgiveness, your next step is to believe and trust in the gift God is giving you.
Understand, this gift of forgiveness and eternal life is free. It’s something you can’t earn.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. —Ephesians 2:8,9
The word grace means "undeserved favor." It means God is offering you something you could never provide for yourself. You don’t have to work for this gift. All you have to do is believe with all your heart that Jesus Christ died for you. Do you believe?
The Bible promises that when you sincerely ask God for forgiveness and trust in Jesus, you will experience new life in Christ.
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. —Romans 10:9
Today, with all your heart, surrender your life to Jesus Christ. Confess your sins. Ask God to forgive you. Say that you'll trust in Jesus. And thank Him for the gift of everlasting life. Pray now:
"Father, I know that I have sinned against You. Please forgive me. Wash me clean. I promise to trust in Jesus, Your Son. I believe that He died for me—He took my sin upon Himself when He died on the cross. I believe that He was raised from the dead. I surrender my life to Jesus today.
"Thank You, Father, for Your gift of forgiveness and eternal life. Please help me to live for you. In Jesus' name, Amen."
There is nothing magical about the words you use. It is the attitude of your heart that God cares about.
Your final step in becoming a Christian is to receive this free gift of forgiveness and eternal life. The Bible teaches:
Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. —John 1:12
When you receive Christ into your heart, you become a child of God. You have the privilege of talking to Him in prayer. At any time. About anything.
The Christian life is a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. And best of all, it is a relationship that will last for all eternity. Joyfully receive it!
If you want another example of how to do a Salvation Prayer, you can use the following, but remember this is the beginning of a new relationship, not religious practice. More than anything God wants you to speak from your heart.
“Dear Heavenly Father, I am coming to you asking that you forgive me of all the sins that I have committed. I believe and confess that Jesus Christ died for my sins and on the third day rose again and conquered death and the grave (Romans 10:9-10;13). I believe Your Body and Blood is more than enough to cleanse me of my sins if I choose to accept. I know that I can no way save myself, but You are the Mediator who makes it possible for me to come to throne of grace (John 14:6; Hebrews 4:14-16). This day, I choose to repent (turn away from) all my sinful ways and walk in your ways (Joshua 22:5). Thank you for coming into my heart and making it new (Psalm 51:10). Satan, I renounce your ways and no longer choose to walk in darkness, but in light (Acts 26:18). No longer will I be controlled by sin or the desire to please myself, but follow Christ all of the days of my life.
Thank you Jesus for making me your child and having me become the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21)! Amen!”
If you just prayed this prayer or something similar to it, you have just become a Child of the Most High!
Until next time....
Monday, February 7, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Heart of Hope
“Discouragement is dissatisfaction with the past, distaste for the present, and distrust of the future. It is ingratitude for the blessings of yesterday, indifference to the opportunities of today, and insecurity regarding strength for tomorrow. It is unawareness of the presence of beauty, unconcern for the needs of our fellowman, and unbelief in the promises of old. It is impatience with time, immaturity of thought, and impoliteness to God.” - William Ward
I heard the above quote this past Sunday while watching Christian television. I’m embarrassed to say I had never heard it before now. Anyone who knows me knows I love quotes and I feel like I should have had this quote a long time ago. Just like Bible scriptures, quotes can contain is so much depth and meaning to them. Like peeling away an onion layer---there is always something new to be found. I never thought about discouragement being the things mentioned above, but when you really take to time to stop and contemplate, it really is the truth.
I do realize that not everyone has had a good or decent past so, when they look back on it, they might find dissatisfaction with it. BUT, if they are a child of God, no matter what your past was you should be able to see or believe, that God has or will restore/redeem the time that was stolen (Joel 2:25). For those that aren’t happy with the present (I’m a former club member), remember as a man thinks, that he is (Proverbs 23:7). For those who aren’t anticipating the future with hope and excitement, all I have to say is REALLY?! Life has a way a changing for the good or bad in a matter of seconds. So why not choose to think positive and put your hope and trust in Someone who already knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11) and just start believing that the better days are yet to come. Yes, I know I probably sound like a motivational speaker, whose name I’d rather not mention, but I promise you I’m not sitting here typing with a huge grin on my face. I’m typing and thinking that I will be tested on this and I will truly have to chew and swallow my own advice soon. With all of that being said, I’m sure you are wondering where all this is coming from. Well, glad you asked. My church is spending 4 weeks on a sermon series of Voice of Hope and hearing God’s voice. So with the sermon and the small group that accompanies it, it’s something that has been on the forefront of my mind the past couple of weeks. In the recent months and weeks l’ve been wanting to hear God’s voice more often and kept saying that I would start making the time, which I didn’t until the new year arrived. So the timing was perfect. I’ve been taking sermon notes the past couple of weeks, so I’ll share with you some of the highlights that you might want to take to heart.
*Hope doesn’t mean the same as a wish, wishes don’t sustain the human heart, hope does
*Our hope is in the salvation through Jesus Christ, which is our foundation
*Our confidence comes when we hear God’s voice speaking to us
*Our culture drowns out every voice that matters; don’t let other’s opinions shake you, stand firm on God’s voice
*If you don’t know what on God’s mind, you will be shaken by everyone else’s opinion; external voices are always a set-up for hopelessness and failure, the internal voice (Holy Spirit) is the one who provides hope
*Hope and purpose go hand and hand (Jeremiah 29:11)
*A hard heart will never have hope; our hearts must be soft and pliable to hear what God is saying
*Hope comes from agreement, not just hearing God’s voice
*The question isn’t can you hear from God, but can you get rid of some of the noise; need to make room to hear from God
*The role of the Bride/Church is to say “yes” to the Lord and obey/do what he says; ask God what burdens He has on His heart and have the heart to carry His burden as well (the poor, widow, orphan, shut in, etc.)
*Religion will always bypass the burden of God’s heart; but relationship centers around it (ex. Good Samaritan)
*We can’t speak for people we don’t even hear, we won’t be able to speak on behalf of a God we don’t even know
I leave you with something that I wrote last night during my small group meditation time, last night the scripture was on Psalm 86:11 “Teach me Your way, O Lord, I will walk in Your truth: unite my heart to fear Your name.”
Your truth is my guide, my light, my map. Without Your truth I truly am lost and clueless.
In Your name solace is found,
In Your name hope is found,
In Your name truth is found,
In Your name victory is found,
In Your name peace is found,
In Your name joy is found,
In Your name love is found,
In Your name confidence is found.
So, my question to you is what and/or whose voice are you currently listening to?
Until next time...
I heard the above quote this past Sunday while watching Christian television. I’m embarrassed to say I had never heard it before now. Anyone who knows me knows I love quotes and I feel like I should have had this quote a long time ago. Just like Bible scriptures, quotes can contain is so much depth and meaning to them. Like peeling away an onion layer---there is always something new to be found. I never thought about discouragement being the things mentioned above, but when you really take to time to stop and contemplate, it really is the truth.
I do realize that not everyone has had a good or decent past so, when they look back on it, they might find dissatisfaction with it. BUT, if they are a child of God, no matter what your past was you should be able to see or believe, that God has or will restore/redeem the time that was stolen (Joel 2:25). For those that aren’t happy with the present (I’m a former club member), remember as a man thinks, that he is (Proverbs 23:7). For those who aren’t anticipating the future with hope and excitement, all I have to say is REALLY?! Life has a way a changing for the good or bad in a matter of seconds. So why not choose to think positive and put your hope and trust in Someone who already knows the plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11) and just start believing that the better days are yet to come. Yes, I know I probably sound like a motivational speaker, whose name I’d rather not mention, but I promise you I’m not sitting here typing with a huge grin on my face. I’m typing and thinking that I will be tested on this and I will truly have to chew and swallow my own advice soon. With all of that being said, I’m sure you are wondering where all this is coming from. Well, glad you asked. My church is spending 4 weeks on a sermon series of Voice of Hope and hearing God’s voice. So with the sermon and the small group that accompanies it, it’s something that has been on the forefront of my mind the past couple of weeks. In the recent months and weeks l’ve been wanting to hear God’s voice more often and kept saying that I would start making the time, which I didn’t until the new year arrived. So the timing was perfect. I’ve been taking sermon notes the past couple of weeks, so I’ll share with you some of the highlights that you might want to take to heart.
*Hope doesn’t mean the same as a wish, wishes don’t sustain the human heart, hope does
*Our hope is in the salvation through Jesus Christ, which is our foundation
*Our confidence comes when we hear God’s voice speaking to us
*Our culture drowns out every voice that matters; don’t let other’s opinions shake you, stand firm on God’s voice
*If you don’t know what on God’s mind, you will be shaken by everyone else’s opinion; external voices are always a set-up for hopelessness and failure, the internal voice (Holy Spirit) is the one who provides hope
*Hope and purpose go hand and hand (Jeremiah 29:11)
*A hard heart will never have hope; our hearts must be soft and pliable to hear what God is saying
*Hope comes from agreement, not just hearing God’s voice
*The question isn’t can you hear from God, but can you get rid of some of the noise; need to make room to hear from God
*The role of the Bride/Church is to say “yes” to the Lord and obey/do what he says; ask God what burdens He has on His heart and have the heart to carry His burden as well (the poor, widow, orphan, shut in, etc.)
*Religion will always bypass the burden of God’s heart; but relationship centers around it (ex. Good Samaritan)
*We can’t speak for people we don’t even hear, we won’t be able to speak on behalf of a God we don’t even know
I leave you with something that I wrote last night during my small group meditation time, last night the scripture was on Psalm 86:11 “Teach me Your way, O Lord, I will walk in Your truth: unite my heart to fear Your name.”
Your truth is my guide, my light, my map. Without Your truth I truly am lost and clueless.
In Your name solace is found,
In Your name hope is found,
In Your name truth is found,
In Your name victory is found,
In Your name peace is found,
In Your name joy is found,
In Your name love is found,
In Your name confidence is found.
So, my question to you is what and/or whose voice are you currently listening to?
Until next time...
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Authencity, authencity, authencity....
Hi everyone!
Hope the 1st half of January has been a good one for you all. :) For me it’s been a time of laying all the cards out on the table and seeing all the possibilities this year and beyond could bring. I’m now trying to narrow down and see what path I’m supposed to take, not necessarily the one I have planned or want to take. So needless to say, it is a bit frustrating, but also it does give me the hopes that I am a little closer to living my “authentic life”. Without trying to sound new age-y, what I mean by authentic life is living the life that God desires for me to live and no longer trying to find a balance between being politically and socially correct and being a sold-out woman for Jesus Christ. As I get older, I can’t say I believe it’s possible, especially in the 21st century. It’s oil and water if you ask me, which causes me to recall the scripture verse Romans 12:2,"Be ye not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Looking back at my younger years, I was so dogmatic and black and white with a lot of my belief systems because of my Type A personality type. When I arrived to college I spent those years trying to “find myself” and figure out what I believed, for myself and not readily adopting my parent’s belief system without having my own life experiences to be my foundation. While doing that, I realized that life is not always black and white and can have shades of gray at times. After realizing that, I went from one extreme to being so vocal and blunt to subdued and passive when it came to my belief system. So, as I embark a new year and close to the beginning of my 3rd decade on earth (less than 6 months away—whoo hoo), I want to live a life where I can look back and know that I lived the life that God intended for me to live. I want to accomplish that by doing the things He wanted me to do, going the places He wanted me to go, meeting the people He wanted me to meet, focusing on the causes He wanted me to focus on, and having a heart for the whatever He has a heart for. What better way to live life than to walk through it having the privilege and blessing of hearing Him whisper to our spirits, “Well done, my good and faithful servant…”
With all of that being said, sometime the things we are called to do will go against the norms of society and may cause us to look weird and out of place. For the most part, through my actions, I have stuck by my principles and convictions, which alone has made me feel out of place and lonely at times. The issue that bothers me most is when I’ve been silent about most of my principles and convictions and don’t always vocalize why I believe what I believe, which is usually based on biblical grounds (so unpopular nowadays), it is in fear of being looked at as out of touch, rigid, and dogmatic. All characteristics I find to be unattractive in a person—Christian or non-Christian. So it is my desire from here on out to be that Christian that is authentic in action (which I’ve been doing), voice (which I need to improve on), while still being approachable to most I come in contact with. If you aren't approachable, whose life are you going to help transform? At the end of the day, what is the point of me having Truth and not sharing with others as to why I have it and how I got it?! So are you living your authentic life in Christ? If not, now is as a better time as any to do so. :)
Side note, recently began doing more research on fasting and found this website about how to do a Daniel Fast and just fasting in general is interesting. I haven’t tried the tips out yet, but thought I’d let others know about what appears to be a good resources to have.
http://danielfast.wordpress.com/daniel-fast-food-list/
http://ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000035268
http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting/danielfast.php
"But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." -Luke 6:49
Until next time...
Hope the 1st half of January has been a good one for you all. :) For me it’s been a time of laying all the cards out on the table and seeing all the possibilities this year and beyond could bring. I’m now trying to narrow down and see what path I’m supposed to take, not necessarily the one I have planned or want to take. So needless to say, it is a bit frustrating, but also it does give me the hopes that I am a little closer to living my “authentic life”. Without trying to sound new age-y, what I mean by authentic life is living the life that God desires for me to live and no longer trying to find a balance between being politically and socially correct and being a sold-out woman for Jesus Christ. As I get older, I can’t say I believe it’s possible, especially in the 21st century. It’s oil and water if you ask me, which causes me to recall the scripture verse Romans 12:2,"Be ye not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Looking back at my younger years, I was so dogmatic and black and white with a lot of my belief systems because of my Type A personality type. When I arrived to college I spent those years trying to “find myself” and figure out what I believed, for myself and not readily adopting my parent’s belief system without having my own life experiences to be my foundation. While doing that, I realized that life is not always black and white and can have shades of gray at times. After realizing that, I went from one extreme to being so vocal and blunt to subdued and passive when it came to my belief system. So, as I embark a new year and close to the beginning of my 3rd decade on earth (less than 6 months away—whoo hoo), I want to live a life where I can look back and know that I lived the life that God intended for me to live. I want to accomplish that by doing the things He wanted me to do, going the places He wanted me to go, meeting the people He wanted me to meet, focusing on the causes He wanted me to focus on, and having a heart for the whatever He has a heart for. What better way to live life than to walk through it having the privilege and blessing of hearing Him whisper to our spirits, “Well done, my good and faithful servant…”
With all of that being said, sometime the things we are called to do will go against the norms of society and may cause us to look weird and out of place. For the most part, through my actions, I have stuck by my principles and convictions, which alone has made me feel out of place and lonely at times. The issue that bothers me most is when I’ve been silent about most of my principles and convictions and don’t always vocalize why I believe what I believe, which is usually based on biblical grounds (so unpopular nowadays), it is in fear of being looked at as out of touch, rigid, and dogmatic. All characteristics I find to be unattractive in a person—Christian or non-Christian. So it is my desire from here on out to be that Christian that is authentic in action (which I’ve been doing), voice (which I need to improve on), while still being approachable to most I come in contact with. If you aren't approachable, whose life are you going to help transform? At the end of the day, what is the point of me having Truth and not sharing with others as to why I have it and how I got it?! So are you living your authentic life in Christ? If not, now is as a better time as any to do so. :)
Side note, recently began doing more research on fasting and found this website about how to do a Daniel Fast and just fasting in general is interesting. I haven’t tried the tips out yet, but thought I’d let others know about what appears to be a good resources to have.
http://danielfast.wordpress.com/daniel-fast-food-list/
http://ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000035268
http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting/danielfast.php
"But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." -Luke 6:49
Until next time...
Friday, December 31, 2010
Okay, 2011 I’m ready now!
Hey everyone!
Hope you were able to enjoy the Christmas holiday with family, friends, and loved ones, as well as remember Christ being the reason for the season.
I can’t believe another year is coming to an end. I was just telling a friend of mine last week that I wasn’t ready for the new year just yet, because the year seems to have went by too quickly for me to really take everything in and welcome 2011 in with open arms. But in the last few days, I’ve been able to rest, recoup, and take in the past year and where I am now and now I’m ready for 2011. I’m curious to see where 2011 takes me, but have to say I’m amazed by what 2010 has been brought. Here’s a rundown of 2010:
January- spent much time reflecting and being ready for whatever the year would bring
February- I entered a 5 month relationship, started off blissfully and but quickly became a trainwreck. No regrets though, will DEFINITELY appreciate my Issac when he does enter my life
March- I was able to go to Kansas City and network with other mental health professionals who work with the Deaf/Hard of Hearing population and catch up with my oldest friend, Joelle
April- final exams, enjoying the blooming spring season, and enjoying my new spring wardrode (I’d lost weight the months prior)
May- brought a month of me running around trying to tie up lose ends before ending my 2nd year as a school social worker, and going to Osage Beach with my mom and sister Memorial Day weekend---good times had
June- the beginning of my summer break, my 29th birthday (last birthday in my 20s----whoo hoo!!), and going to Chicago with Joelle—many memories created
July- brought me ending my relationship, beginning a new part time job at a local library, and me getting back into blogging more often
August- began my 3rd year of school social work and re-evaluating my life
September- got back to remembering the things I should be focusing on at this point of my life
October- me learning I had completed my licensure hours—Thank you Jesus!
November- I saw once again how distractions can be a hindrance or propelling force—decided to let it be my propelling force
December- prepared for the holiday season at the last minute, seeing the logistics of my business slowly coming together, being reminded that what is easy is not always the best thing to do, and ready to embrace 2011
Unlike the beginning of 2010, I will be making a resolution, since I didn’t make one for my 29th birthday. I gotta have my lists! :) I have no clue what 2011 will bring, but I have to say I’m very excited about it being the year that holds my 30th birthday. It’s funny to think this time two and three years ago I dreaded turning the big 3-0, because life had not worked out the way I thought it would. Now I believe my 30s will be the decade that what I thought I wanted in my 20s, I will have in my 30s and more importantly than that, be ready and prepared for those things. Whatever 2011 and beyond brings, I’m ready!
"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
- Psalm 37:4 KJV
Until next time or in this case next year!:)
Hope you were able to enjoy the Christmas holiday with family, friends, and loved ones, as well as remember Christ being the reason for the season.
I can’t believe another year is coming to an end. I was just telling a friend of mine last week that I wasn’t ready for the new year just yet, because the year seems to have went by too quickly for me to really take everything in and welcome 2011 in with open arms. But in the last few days, I’ve been able to rest, recoup, and take in the past year and where I am now and now I’m ready for 2011. I’m curious to see where 2011 takes me, but have to say I’m amazed by what 2010 has been brought. Here’s a rundown of 2010:
January- spent much time reflecting and being ready for whatever the year would bring
February- I entered a 5 month relationship, started off blissfully and but quickly became a trainwreck. No regrets though, will DEFINITELY appreciate my Issac when he does enter my life
March- I was able to go to Kansas City and network with other mental health professionals who work with the Deaf/Hard of Hearing population and catch up with my oldest friend, Joelle
April- final exams, enjoying the blooming spring season, and enjoying my new spring wardrode (I’d lost weight the months prior)
May- brought a month of me running around trying to tie up lose ends before ending my 2nd year as a school social worker, and going to Osage Beach with my mom and sister Memorial Day weekend---good times had
June- the beginning of my summer break, my 29th birthday (last birthday in my 20s----whoo hoo!!), and going to Chicago with Joelle—many memories created
July- brought me ending my relationship, beginning a new part time job at a local library, and me getting back into blogging more often
August- began my 3rd year of school social work and re-evaluating my life
September- got back to remembering the things I should be focusing on at this point of my life
October- me learning I had completed my licensure hours—Thank you Jesus!
November- I saw once again how distractions can be a hindrance or propelling force—decided to let it be my propelling force
December- prepared for the holiday season at the last minute, seeing the logistics of my business slowly coming together, being reminded that what is easy is not always the best thing to do, and ready to embrace 2011
Unlike the beginning of 2010, I will be making a resolution, since I didn’t make one for my 29th birthday. I gotta have my lists! :) I have no clue what 2011 will bring, but I have to say I’m very excited about it being the year that holds my 30th birthday. It’s funny to think this time two and three years ago I dreaded turning the big 3-0, because life had not worked out the way I thought it would. Now I believe my 30s will be the decade that what I thought I wanted in my 20s, I will have in my 30s and more importantly than that, be ready and prepared for those things. Whatever 2011 and beyond brings, I’m ready!
"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
- Psalm 37:4 KJV
Until next time or in this case next year!:)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Relationship Isn't For You!
Hey everyone!
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving holiday and were able to be surrounded by those you love and enjoy to spend time with. Mine was a good one. A few days leading up to Thanksgiving, I was sick and had it took a few days to gain my strength and energy back. During the week of Thanksgiving, surprisingly to some, including myself, I kept saying that I’m SO THANKFUL that I’m not in the relationship I was in earlier this year. I honestly look back at that 5 months period and have to shake my head and say to myself, “Really, Tia, really?” It is what it is and it was a learning experience. But I’m so happy I was to be able to spend this Thanksgiving being thankful for not only the things I do have, but the things I don’t have in my life. I used to be baffled and a bit annoyed when people would tell me that it is better to be single and happy than in a relationship and unhappy. I could never really understand in my finite thinking how being in a relationship a person could be unhappy, but after this year, I’m able to say “Oh, now I GET it.” Right after the relationship ended, I wanted to immediately blog all the things I had learned from the relationship, but decided not to because the emotions were too raw and I would be typing out of hurt, anger, and frustration. Now, I’m typing out of reflection, a heart to help others who might be in the same boat I was a few months ago, or desire to have a relationship at this point ( I know the holidays don’t help a lot of those thoughts and feelings) and needed to be reminded why to wait for good and healthy relationship. So below are some of the things I learned while in that relationship and afterwards.
1. If you know you are emotionally and mentally stable and you feel like the guy isn’t into you, more than likely, he isn’t into you. Let me put it this way, if you feel like you are an inconvenience to him and the relationship isn’t for you.
2. Again, if you are emotionally and mentally stable, but every time you end a conversation with the guy, you are more lost and confused about the issue at hand than before the conversation the relationship isn’t for you.
3. If you have people in your life you know truly care about you and they constantly ask you why you are still in the relationship, then again, the relationship isn’t for you.
4. If you feel and know that if you were to be completely yourself (tell him your beliefs, dreams, convictions, etc.) with the guy, that the relationship would not work out, then the relationship isn’t for you.
5. If at the beginning of the relationship, you have questions about whether the two of you are spiritually compatible (have the same religious foundations/principles) and he isn’t trying or able to convince you otherwise, then the relationship isn’t for you.
6. If the guy isn’t willing to fight with and for you, then the relationship isn’t for you. An example would be when you express your concerns about whether the relationship he has with you will make it, and his response is “There are plenty of fish in the sea”---that is not a guy you want.
7. If things aren’t “great” and easy to resolve during the beginning and honeymoon stages of the relationship, then they won’t be any easier as time moves on, the relationship isn’t for you.
8. If you would have to compromise items that should be on your non-negotiable list i.e. a godly man who exemplifies the characteristics of Christ, wants to have kids and/or adopt, is a giver, etc., then the relationship isn’t for you.
9. If he says one thing, but does another and you call him out on it and either gets almost indignant with you or actually causes you to question your sanity, then the relationship isn’t for you.
10. If he starts off telling you the plans he has for you and the future and then midway those plans change without notice and you call him out on it and he isn’t able to give you a clear answer, then the relationship isn’t for you.
11. If he doesn’t make an effort to be around your close friends and family, then the relationship isn’t for you.
12. If you tell him what things make you happy and content and he doesn’t listen and follow through, then the relationship isn’t for you.
13. If he expects you to put more into the relationship than he’s put into it himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
14. If you spend more time in your relationship, crying, with a headache, and frustrated, then the relationship isn’t for you.
15. If you haven’t been in the relationship for that long (I was in mine for 5 months) and every month, he tells you he’s surprised that the relationship lasted this long, then RUN. Know that the relationship isn’t for you.
16. If you see signs that look like he’s trying to break up with you, more than likely he is and the relationship isn’t for you.
17. If he seems secretive and resents you asking him “too many questions”, then the relationship isn’t for you.
18. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, listen to what they say, even before you two become a couple, even the little things. The guy I dated told me before we dated he wanted to get a dog, after knowing him for years, I foolishly believed him and after we were dating I asked him about the dog and he stated that he didn’t want a dog and he was “just talking” when he told me he wanted a dog. A dog is a small thing to lie about, but if lies are told about small things, then one has to question the integrity and character of the other. Again, the relationship isn’t for you.
19. If he is willing to sacrifice you before himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
20. If he doesn’t feel like he’s able to have a “safe place” with you and you feel the same about him,then the relationship isn’t for you.
So, those are my tidbits of wisdom. I could have made the list longer, and trust me it is, but these are the universal signs that no matter what you want out of your individual relationship the things one should be looking out for. For those relationship, I beg you to please pray to God, that he reveal to you if this is the person you should be with at this period of your life, and for those who desire a relationship, I beg you to pray and ask God what it is that He would have you to do at this point of your life until that person does come along. Also, in a relationship right now or not, spend this time writing a list from your heart’s desire of what you know you want and need out of a future mate—should mostly be your non-negotiables. So when you in a relationship you can refer to the list and see if that person is measuring up to that list or not. If they aren’t, there should be a tug of war going on internally as to whether or not you should stay or leave the relationship. Write down your vision and make it plain (see Habbukak 2:2-4). When visions are written down, you are held accountable for seeing them through and it helps keep you focused—there have been plenty of studies done to confirm this. Whichever decision you make will have to be one you’ll have to live with. But if you chose to leave or let the relationship go, then you will know at the end it REALLY was for your best and you will be better off. Who knows maybe thankful that the relationship no longer exists like I was. :)
I leave you with this scripture to meditate on, “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but happy is he who keeps the law.” – Proverbs 29:18.
Until next time…
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving holiday and were able to be surrounded by those you love and enjoy to spend time with. Mine was a good one. A few days leading up to Thanksgiving, I was sick and had it took a few days to gain my strength and energy back. During the week of Thanksgiving, surprisingly to some, including myself, I kept saying that I’m SO THANKFUL that I’m not in the relationship I was in earlier this year. I honestly look back at that 5 months period and have to shake my head and say to myself, “Really, Tia, really?” It is what it is and it was a learning experience. But I’m so happy I was to be able to spend this Thanksgiving being thankful for not only the things I do have, but the things I don’t have in my life. I used to be baffled and a bit annoyed when people would tell me that it is better to be single and happy than in a relationship and unhappy. I could never really understand in my finite thinking how being in a relationship a person could be unhappy, but after this year, I’m able to say “Oh, now I GET it.” Right after the relationship ended, I wanted to immediately blog all the things I had learned from the relationship, but decided not to because the emotions were too raw and I would be typing out of hurt, anger, and frustration. Now, I’m typing out of reflection, a heart to help others who might be in the same boat I was a few months ago, or desire to have a relationship at this point ( I know the holidays don’t help a lot of those thoughts and feelings) and needed to be reminded why to wait for good and healthy relationship. So below are some of the things I learned while in that relationship and afterwards.
1. If you know you are emotionally and mentally stable and you feel like the guy isn’t into you, more than likely, he isn’t into you. Let me put it this way, if you feel like you are an inconvenience to him and the relationship isn’t for you.
2. Again, if you are emotionally and mentally stable, but every time you end a conversation with the guy, you are more lost and confused about the issue at hand than before the conversation the relationship isn’t for you.
3. If you have people in your life you know truly care about you and they constantly ask you why you are still in the relationship, then again, the relationship isn’t for you.
4. If you feel and know that if you were to be completely yourself (tell him your beliefs, dreams, convictions, etc.) with the guy, that the relationship would not work out, then the relationship isn’t for you.
5. If at the beginning of the relationship, you have questions about whether the two of you are spiritually compatible (have the same religious foundations/principles) and he isn’t trying or able to convince you otherwise, then the relationship isn’t for you.
6. If the guy isn’t willing to fight with and for you, then the relationship isn’t for you. An example would be when you express your concerns about whether the relationship he has with you will make it, and his response is “There are plenty of fish in the sea”---that is not a guy you want.
7. If things aren’t “great” and easy to resolve during the beginning and honeymoon stages of the relationship, then they won’t be any easier as time moves on, the relationship isn’t for you.
8. If you would have to compromise items that should be on your non-negotiable list i.e. a godly man who exemplifies the characteristics of Christ, wants to have kids and/or adopt, is a giver, etc., then the relationship isn’t for you.
9. If he says one thing, but does another and you call him out on it and either gets almost indignant with you or actually causes you to question your sanity, then the relationship isn’t for you.
10. If he starts off telling you the plans he has for you and the future and then midway those plans change without notice and you call him out on it and he isn’t able to give you a clear answer, then the relationship isn’t for you.
11. If he doesn’t make an effort to be around your close friends and family, then the relationship isn’t for you.
12. If you tell him what things make you happy and content and he doesn’t listen and follow through, then the relationship isn’t for you.
13. If he expects you to put more into the relationship than he’s put into it himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
14. If you spend more time in your relationship, crying, with a headache, and frustrated, then the relationship isn’t for you.
15. If you haven’t been in the relationship for that long (I was in mine for 5 months) and every month, he tells you he’s surprised that the relationship lasted this long, then RUN. Know that the relationship isn’t for you.
16. If you see signs that look like he’s trying to break up with you, more than likely he is and the relationship isn’t for you.
17. If he seems secretive and resents you asking him “too many questions”, then the relationship isn’t for you.
18. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, listen to what they say, even before you two become a couple, even the little things. The guy I dated told me before we dated he wanted to get a dog, after knowing him for years, I foolishly believed him and after we were dating I asked him about the dog and he stated that he didn’t want a dog and he was “just talking” when he told me he wanted a dog. A dog is a small thing to lie about, but if lies are told about small things, then one has to question the integrity and character of the other. Again, the relationship isn’t for you.
19. If he is willing to sacrifice you before himself, then the relationship isn’t for you.
20. If he doesn’t feel like he’s able to have a “safe place” with you and you feel the same about him,then the relationship isn’t for you.
So, those are my tidbits of wisdom. I could have made the list longer, and trust me it is, but these are the universal signs that no matter what you want out of your individual relationship the things one should be looking out for. For those relationship, I beg you to please pray to God, that he reveal to you if this is the person you should be with at this period of your life, and for those who desire a relationship, I beg you to pray and ask God what it is that He would have you to do at this point of your life until that person does come along. Also, in a relationship right now or not, spend this time writing a list from your heart’s desire of what you know you want and need out of a future mate—should mostly be your non-negotiables. So when you in a relationship you can refer to the list and see if that person is measuring up to that list or not. If they aren’t, there should be a tug of war going on internally as to whether or not you should stay or leave the relationship. Write down your vision and make it plain (see Habbukak 2:2-4). When visions are written down, you are held accountable for seeing them through and it helps keep you focused—there have been plenty of studies done to confirm this. Whichever decision you make will have to be one you’ll have to live with. But if you chose to leave or let the relationship go, then you will know at the end it REALLY was for your best and you will be better off. Who knows maybe thankful that the relationship no longer exists like I was. :)
I leave you with this scripture to meditate on, “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but happy is he who keeps the law.” – Proverbs 29:18.
Until next time…
Monday, November 15, 2010
Ahhh....Now I Get It!
You remember a few weeks ago I left the Desert Song video for you guys. Apparently, it was for me as well. Opps! Such as life is, as soon as I became licensed at the end of October, my somewhat quiet and predictable days came to a halt. There seems to be drama all over now, especially work related, which is starting to affect me in my personal life. Of course, I’m at the point of wondering if this is the best time to start a private practice and right now in complete exhaustion I do not think it is. It is never a good thing to do anything when exhausted, because it isn’t done right and because you can’t think with clarity and proper reason at times of tiredness. I honestly wish I could take a sabbatical for a few weeks (already counting down the days until Christmas break) and catch my breathe and rejuvenate, but I can’t so gotta keep rolling with the punches for now.
“The steps of the good man are ordered by the Lord. And He delights in his way”- Psalm 37:23
Until next time…
“The steps of the good man are ordered by the Lord. And He delights in his way”- Psalm 37:23
Until next time…
FINALLY!
Okey dokey….last month I told you all that I would have more to mention very soon. Well, here it is. I am now able to sign my work documents with my name and the letters of, MSW, ACSW, LCSW! After four years in the making that whole licensure process is over with. It is my hope and dream to be able to open up a private practice in the upcoming months and work with hearing, Deaf, hard of hearing, Christians, non-Christians, and older and younger adults. This has been a dream of mine since 2000 when I decided to become a social worker in the first place. I have been trying to get preliminary stuff completed first (there are a lot of details involved in trying to begin a business) as well as juggle my already busy schedule. So I’ll definitely try to keep everyone posted on how that project is coming along. :)
Until next time...
Until next time...
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